


Silence

by GeorgeCantWrite



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Carl Grimes Lives, Character Death, Deaf Character, Fear, Gen, Growing Up, Growing Up in the Apocalypse, Isolation, Killing, Multi, Murder, References to Depression, Sophia Peletier Lives, Stalker, Stalking, Walkers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:20:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 35,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28200765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeorgeCantWrite/pseuds/GeorgeCantWrite
Summary: Everything was quiet, before and after the apocalypse. So what happens when things change, people are left for dead, and the deaf kid has to learn to survive in a silent world full of undead monsters ready to tear into skin and flesh?Nix was going to survive; she was going to do everything to stay alive.
Relationships: Alden (Walking Dead)/Original Character(s), Daryl Dixon & Original Female Character(s), Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 35





	1. The Beginning

Nix looked up at her father, watching his hands move. They had long since come to a standstill in the traffic jam. 'Stay safe.' he told her, watching as she nodded along. 'Merle is going to be an asshole, but we will be safe.'

'Promise?' she signed back, eyebrows pulled together as her fingers made the X mark over her chest for the sign.

He nodded, hand coming to rest on her face, other hand signing 'promise' back to her. Nix nodded in return, smiling a little bit.

The two looked back at the traffic snarl they were at the ass end of. Nix could see people grouping. There were some kids. She looked back at him. 'Should we say hello?' she asked, looking back at her father, to see what he had to say about it.

He rubbed at the scruff on his face, contemplating it all over. 'Dangerous,' he signed to her after a moment of thought. Nix nodded, feeling dejected. But she understood; it was a dangerous situation that they were in, and they didn't know the strangers or what they could be capable of. They'd already had trouble with some strangers just trying to _get_ to Atlanta, they didn't want more trouble now that they were almost there.

The two watched as the people waited around their cars, stuck waiting for potential safety in Atlanta. Time felt slow, dragging out the seconds into hours as they waited for the vehicles to start moving once more. Nix slouched back in her seat, legs pulled up to her chest. She was scared, but she had to hide it. They weren't waiting long before Merle banged his fist on her dad's window. He was as impatient as ever with the traffic snarl. Nix had long since learned how to read lips, mainly her father's and her uncle's. Still, she didn't like what Uncle Merle often said. She thought she was usually better off not knowing what came out of his mouth. But it was handy, learning how to read lips, even if it was exhausting and mostly guesswork on her part. Nix was simply glad that Merle didn't exaggerate the way his mouth moved when he spoke to her, making it easier for her to see the natural way his mouth moved.

"We get the fuck outta here before some pansies find us. We get up high, away from this shit." Merle saw Nix looking at him. "You alright, girlie?" he asked, not bothering to sign. He knew she could mostly tell what he said, and probably thought she had her old, busted hearing aids in. The hearing aids were tucked in her dad's pocket, after she'd had an argument with him about them. She didn't like sound, too used to the silence she had.

She frowned at him, pretending that she couldn't tell what he'd said. 'What's wrong?' she signed instead. She saw the way her father hid his amusement from his brother.

Merle jabbed a finger at each of them, then jerked his thumb back the way they had come. It wasn't hard to figure out that he wanted them to vanish, had had enough of sitting around doing nothing in the traffic. Nix pursed her lips at him a little, nodding her head, relenting. Her dad was the only one who listened to her anyway.

Still, she watched the group - the two lots of parents, the two kids - as her father put the truck into gear, reversing, turning around and taking them away from all the traffic. She wondered what the families would do, if they'd go into the city or try and do something smart.

Nix kept quiet. She couldn't talk to her dad anyway; he couldn't sign and drive at the same time, a skill he had yet to pick up. It left her to her thoughts. She thought about the things she'd seen on the news, the people coming back to life, tearing into human flesh. They had been dead, and were trying to kill them all. It was uncomfortable to think about; what if they tried to get her? Nix knew she was easy pickings. She was deaf, she wouldn't be able to hear them approaching her from behind. But she knew her father would do everything in his power to keep her safe for as long as he could; he'd done it before, and she knew he would do it again.

She watched Merle on his bike, leading them away from the rest of the people, up into the mountains. She wondered what went through the man's mind, what he could be thinking about now that the world had started to turn to shit. The only reason they had risked going into Atlanta was to try and find somewhere to keep her safe. If it was just her father and uncle, she knew they wouldn't even bother to try and get into the city. It made her wonder if Merle was annoyed at the fact he'd had to risk his skin for her sake, and then dismissed the thought; she knew he cared about her and would do what he could for her.

They went further into the mountains, up until they went to a campsite. They came to a stop, and Nix looked at her father, frowning up at him. 'This isn't safe,' she signed to him.

He nodded at her, 'I know. I'm here, so you're safe. Merle too.'

Nix knew there was an uncomfortable look on her face. She didn't like the idea of being near her uncle. Sure, he was nice to her but he was still weird. Nix knew he could set people off in the wrong way, it was the biggest reason why her father would come home with bruises when he'd go out with Merle and his friends.

'Find a place to set a fire.' her dad told her, glancing back at his brother. 'Get yourself warm. We can't use the engine.'

She nodded at his signs, grabbing a flashlight before she opened her door. Her feet hit solid dirt, and she went around the front, her other hand on the knife her dad had given her for her eighth birthday. Nix found a spot on the ground good enough to set up a fire. She went to work, grabbing firewood from nearby. It was quick work as she had been taught how to start a fire without an accelerant from a young age.

A hand was on her shoulder, and she jerked away, knife held up. It was just Merle. He grinned at her, crouching next to her.

"Keep the fire low so we don't attract the bad ones."

Nix gave him a disbelieving look, and he laughed, knowing she was smart enough. He held his hands out to the flames, ignoring Nix's father as he set to work setting up their tent. Faintly, Nix could feel something booming. She frowned, looking at her uncle. She mouthed the word 'Bombs?' to him, and he nodded, fingers slowly spelling out Atlanta. So it had been a good idea that they hadn't gotten into the city then. She didn't like to think about how close they had been to the city, how they could've been bombed if they'd gotten in.

"What about your ears?" Merle asked, reaching over to tug at one of her ears gently. "Those aids."

Nix shrugged a shoulder at him. To be honest, she didn't like them. It made her feel uncomfortable, and the sound was always too quiet. But she could hear voices if she was close enough, hear other sounds like a car engine. She'd miss out on other sounds that people with actual hearing would have. Sometimes she preferred the silence her lack of hearing gave her; it left her more observant, her sense of smell felt heightened. Hearing didn't feel as important to her; she'd grown up without it. They'd taken so long to scrounge up enough money for her clunky, busted hearing aids, and she'd gotten used to not being able to hear.

Over the next few days, people rolled up to their campsite. It was like they had had the same idea.

Nix recognised the two sets of parents and their kids. One of them had been a cop, and Nix felt uneasy at that, knowing her family's history with those kinds of people. Different families had come along, more than what Nix had expected. An old man with two young women came in an RV. A lone man who had a dead look in his eyes. Several people who weren't white. Nix hoped they'd stay away from her uncle, for their safety. She knew her dad was fine with others who weren't white, but his brother riled him up enough to get him to join in on his racist antics. He wouldn't act like that in front of Nix, so she reckoned she'd have to hang around her dad and uncle a lot to ease down the racist acts Merle would start.

Merle would ease up a bit if he spotted Nix there, especially if she had her hearing aids in.

There were only three other kids - the two she'd seen before and a girl from what Nix thought was a Mexican family. There were other kids, but they were older than her and younger than her, those three were around the same age as her.

One of the women - the one with the police officer - had tried to talk to Nix once they had all settled down as well as they could. She saw the way Nix frowned at her, then held out a worn notepad, settling on the first page that had been shown to several people over the years.

**_I'm deaf. My name is Nix._ **

She offered a sympathetic smile, asking for the notepad. Nix handed it over, watching the woman write her response.

 _My name is Lori. The boy, Carl, is my son.  
_ _It's nice to meet you Nix._

Nix smiled a little, nodding to Lori. The woman dropped the notepad when someone came up behind Nix. She looked around to see her father approaching. She could read his lips just enough to see he was telling the woman to back the hell away from her.

Lori looked shocked that someone would be so angry over the whole thing.

Nix felt uncomfortable, standing up, looking at her father. 'Stop.' He looked down at her, raising an eyebrow at her. 'She was saying hello.'

'You don't know these people. They could be dangerous. You have to be extra careful.'

Nix looked back at the ground, clenching her jaw. He put a hand on her shoulder. She looked back up at him, trying to use the old big sad eyes expression.

He shook his head, even though there was a little smile on his face. 'You're not five. Fine, go say hello to the other kids. Don't let them take your knife.'

'Thank you.' Nix looked back at Lori, who had clearly been surprised at the show of the conversation. It was also clear she hadn't understood any of the signs. Nix picked up her notepad, writing out the explanation to Lori.

**_Daryl is my dad. He means well. He said  
I can come with you. Say hi to the others._ **

There was a pleased look on Lori's face as she read the lines. She nodded, then offered her hand to Nix, who took it. She glanced back at her dad, seeing the apprehension in his face. He nodded to her as she went, and Nix smiled in return.

The other two kids, Carl and the girl, looked excited to have a new friend.

Nix let go of Lori's hand, looking at them and the woman with the shaved head. She could tell Lori was talking to them, telling them of how Nix was deaf.

'Hello, I'm Carol,' the woman signed, surprising Nix. Nix pointed to the blonde girl, then to Carol. She nodded.

'Daughter, mother.' she signed at each, mouthing the words a little so Carol understood.

"Sophia is my daughter." Carol said clearly. Nix was relieved that she hadn't exaggerated the way she spoke. It made it harder to tell what people were saying when they exaggerated their mouth movements.

Nix finger spelled Sophia's name. Sophia beamed at it, and then Nix signed Carl's name, including him because she saw the jealous look on his face.

They sat at a weird plastic table, and Nix had her notepad out in clear view. Sophia and Carl took turns asking her questions, eager to talk to her.

It was nice, and made her feel a little bit more normal. In school, she hadn't been normal, instead an outcast. Maybe she could finally have friends at the end of the world. It was just her luck.

Sophia asked Nix if she could teach her how to sign, while Carl asked if she really was Daryl Dixon's kid, because he was scared of Daryl. It didn't surprise her that people were scared of him; he looked particularly menacing, especially since he hadn't showered in a while, and he glared at anyone who looked his way. Nix knew why he acted like that; he didn't want anyone to hurt her.

* * *

'I'm going to go hunting.' Daryl told her. 'Merle will look after you.'

Nix raised an eyebrow at her dad, arms crossed over her chest.

He smiled at her. 'You'll look after Merle,' he signed, and the two smiled, laughing quietly.

'Stay safe.'

'Always.' Her dad kissed the top of her head before he got up and slung his crossbow over his back.

Nix watched him go, trying not to show her discomfort. Her father was the one she could depend on. Now that he was gone on several days' worth of hunting, Merle wouldn't have anyone to stabilise him. Apart from Nix. A few days had passed, and Merle had left her to her things whilst he smoked away in his tent. It was probably better that way; they'd stay away from each other, and she'd be able to tell when he'd leave his tent; he stank like drugs, and her sense of smell was far better than his could ever be.

She went and sat down beside Sophia. Carl was with his mom, and Sophia was trying to get away from her dad. She had admitted to Nix what her dad did to them, and Nix told Sophia that she and her dad would help if she needed to get free.

It had been a long month or so since everything had gotten out of hand for the world. Nix didn't need to hear to know that the world had truly gone silent now.

_Has your dad taught you to hunt?_

Nix looked at the notepad, letting it distract her from the English work Lori was making them do. She nodded at Sophia.

**_Before the world ended. Doesn't want  
me to go now the dead are up._ **

Sophia nodded at the words on the page. She asked about Merle.

**_He's weird in a bad way. Won't hurt me  
or other kids. But I'd not go near him if  
I were you_ **

Nix grimaced at the mention of her uncle. She looked over her shoulder back at him. He was having an argument with Shane at the moment. Shane wasn't Carl's dad like Nix had assumed, but they had worked together in their town police department. She heaved a sigh, wondering if she should intervene. Merle couldn't sign to her anyway; he'd never really bothered to learn much aside from the extreme basics. She got up, going over to Shane and Merle before they got too heated. No-one else would dare go against Merle, after learning how prone he was to violence. Nix braced herself as she stood between them. Merle instantly stopped, as did Shane.

'What's wrong?' she signed to him. Merle knew that one just because of the amount of times she'd signed it to him.

"Shane here doesn't think I should go on the run into the city." Merle said, hands on his knees as he was bent down to be at her height level. "What do you think, Nixie Pixie?"

Nix tilted her head to the side. 'Dad would want you here. So I'm not alone.' She had to sign it slowly so he could understand her.

Merle patted her head. "You're more capable when I'm not here."

They both knew it was true. Nix could get things done in relative peace, and Merle would probably be off pissing other people off, which wasn't a change. But she wasn't in control of him. She had to look out for him, for her dad's sake, but if Merle wanted to go, then he was going to go, regardless of what Nix would try and say to him.

'Don't end up dead.' she signed to him. She watched as Merle laughed. He stood back up, talking over her head to Shane.

Shane put a hand on Nix, who flinched, terror filling her up. Merle was quick to pull her out of his grip, anger lining his face. Merle pointed at Shane, pulling Nix close to his side, turning so that he was shielding her from the cop. "Don't you dare touch my niece," Merle said clearly.

So it wasn't just her that didn't trust Shane. At least Merle was smart enough to not trust Shane. But then again, Dixons didn't usually get along with cops anyway. Maybe that was an instinct at this point. From her viewpoint, she could see the confusion and annoyance on Shane's face. She struggled to read what he was saying, but the way Merle tensed up beside her, she knew it was nothing good.

Nix pulled on his arm, and he looked at her. 'Leave it. Cops are bastards.'

"Yeah, they are," Merle agreed, amused at her signs as Shane looked at her with confusion written on his face. She was glad he didn't understand her.

In the end, Merle had gone along on the run. Nix hadn't been too worried; Merle couldn't be killed by anyone but himself. But when Glenn had come back, apparently with a loud car alarm going off, he had given her a sad look. She frowned at him, wanting him to just admit that Merle was a casualty to the run. Nix didn't get that chance when the others came back, and when Carl and Lori reunited with the Officer who was a new addition to the group, her need to know if Merle was OK had been put on the backburner. Nix had tried to not let it show on her face how much it hurt her. It always felt like just because she was deaf, she could be put to the side to be dealt with later.

That night, Glenn had sat next to her at their fire. Lori and Carl were around the new guy - Rick Grimes, Sophia had told her - and felt a bit of resentment to him.

Rick caught her staring at him. Glenn was quick to tell him Nix was Merle's niece, that she was deaf. She caught the surprised look on his face at the news. That a deaf kid had survived so long, and had grown up with Merle Dixon, of all people.

'My dad is going to be mad!' She tried her best to emphasise the last sign, how angry her dad would be.

T-Dog caught her attention. "He's handcuffed to the roof." he said, and Nix frowned at him, like that was useful.

'That doesn't help.' Nix gave up signing when everyone looked at each other, clueless as to what she was trying to tell them.

Glenn offered a notepad to her.

 **_My dad is going to be mad. Why was Merle left  
_ ** **_on the roof? Is he dead? Why did he get left behind  
_ ** **_in the first place?_ **

She watched as Glenn read out the questions she'd asked, and she watched Rick's reaction, the way he spoke. Beside her, Glenn was writing what he was saying for her.

 _Merle was out of control. He threatened the group,  
T-Dog handcuffed him to the roof but chained the  
_ _door so walkers can't get in. If he had stayed calm  
_ _then he'd be here with us right now._

 **I knew he shouldn't have gone on the run with  
** _**you into the city. I should tell my dad when he  
** _ **gets back. If anyone else says it, he'll be mad.**

Nix watched as Glenn read out her words for her. Rick looked at her, asking if she was sure.

'I'm telling him.' she signed to him, and it looked like he got the message.

* * *

Sophia had led Nix along to play with the others in the dirt. It had been fun, and it felt like she could get along with the others. Sophia had been the one to always go to her first, asking if she wanted to join. It was like the others were afraid of her, or were just unsure of how to go about asking her to join. Nix was becoming close friends with Sophia, mainly because of her willingness to try and talk to her. But then one of the other kids screamed and ran away from them. Nix saw the panic as they retreated.

Nix went towards whatever had scared the others.

It had been a walker. It was eating a deer. There were some crossbow bolts in it she recognised as her father's.

 _Damn we could have eaten that, feed the whole camp,_ she thought as she pulled out her knife. Nix was surprised that it still hadn't realised she was there. This was the first time she had gotten to see one of them up close, to be able to smell its decaying flesh.

Behind her, others appeared. A hand was on her arm, and she shoved them away. People always touched her, and she didn't like it. It made her scared and uncomfortable.

The walker realised more people were there. It got to its feet and snarled at them.

Nix was the only one to react quick enough.

She moved past the men and grunted as she kicked out the knee of the walker. It came to its knees, and Nix stabbed it through the top of its head. It stopped mid roar, arms falling limp. She hadn't even noticed it tried to grab for her. She pressed her lips tight together as she yanked her knife out. The walker dropped like a stone, truly dead. She had been able to kill one without the help of adults.

She bent down, and wiped the blade on the walker's clothes.

The bushes moved in front of her, and she saw her father reappear.

He looked surprised that she was there. 'What's wrong?' he asked, ignoring the others there, eyes only on her.

'Dead. I killed it. It ate the deer. I have to talk to you.' She watched as he looked between her, the walker and the deer. He shook his head, kicking the walker, taking out his bolts from the deer.

'I have squirrels.' He showed her the squirrels, and she nodded her appreciation at the number of them there.

It made her feel more at ease when he took hold of her hand, taking her away from the carcass of the deer, the dead body of the walker. They made it into camp, and then she realised her dad was shouting for her uncle. Nix sighed a little, pulling on Daryl's hand.

'What's wrong?' he asked again, eyes on hers.

How was she supposed to tell him? 'Promise you won't get mad?' He raised an eyebrow at her before promising. 'Merle went on the run into the city. Merle was Merle. He put their lives at risk, and ...' she paused, trying to think how to sign it. 'I think he's still alive, but he's on a roof. Safe from the dead.'

She watched as her dad crouched in front of her, keeping their eyes level. 'You _think_ he's alive?' she didn't like the emphasis he put on the word.

Nix shrugged meekly. 'I didn't go. But he should be safe where they left him.'

'Who left him?'

'T-Dog chained the door. Rick handcuffed him.'

"Rick?" he asked, looking back at the guys who had been watching their conversation, confused as to how Daryl could be so different around Nix.

Rick stepped up, hand out to him. Nix stepped back, seeing how Rick had tried to take control of the situation, and Nix could see how it agitated her dad. Maybe she could have explained it differently. Lori pulled her away, out of the way as Daryl and Rick got into a scuffle. Shane came in, putting her dad in a chokehold. She sat down in the dirt, watching the men. Cops and her family didn't mix well.

Sophia crouched next to her, holding out the notepad. Nix took it and looked at the words she'd written on the page: _Your dad is scary when he's mad._

Nix nodded, glancing back at her father before writing out: **_He just misses Merle. He's protective over family._**

It didn't surprise either of them when Daryl claimed he wanted to go and get Merle. He saw the look on Nix's face, then came and kneeled down in front of her, ignoring Sophia completely.

'He needs us.'

Nix's eyebrows came together at that. 'I know. Don't do anything stupid. I don't want to lose you.' Daryl nodded, pulling her forwards so he could kiss her forehead.

In the end, Daryl, Rick, Glenn and T-Dog went to get Merle back. Carol and Sophia had let Nix stay with them, seeing the hurt in Nix at being left alone again. That night, walkers had attacked the camp. Nix had been tense; she felt like there was a lack of a lookout. People were enjoying themselves. She had been clutching her knife tightly. Shane had tried to tell her to give him her knife, because Carl was jealous that she had been allowed one. It was quickly forgotten about when the walkers came into the camp. Nix held Sophia's hand as they got to their feet and everyone rushed around them. She tried to push for the RV, where they could be a little bit safe.

There had been so many walkers.

Carol and Lori had pulled the two girls closer, and Nix could see them screaming and crying, even though she couldn't hear it. Shane was shooting at every walker that dared to come near them. A walker grabbed Sophia's leg, and the girl screamed. Nix was quick to stab it before Shane had even noticed the walker had been there. Nix was relieved when she saw her father and the others return, taking care of the rest of the walkers that had snuck into their camp.

Once the shooting had stopped, Nix looked around, seeing the massacre. The families, the others who had come to the camp were in pieces, blood pouring from bite wounds. She let Carol and Sophia hold onto her as she looked around, breathing heavily as she realised how close to death they had been. Rick and Daryl rushed forwards, and Nix almost jumped into Daryl's arms, clinging to him tightly. His arms were wrapped around her tightly, lifting her off her feet. She belatedly realised that his tank top was being dampened from her tears. When had she started crying? She looked up, over his shoulder, and she could see the others looking around the campsite, seeing what had happened. They were slowly coming to the realisation that they weren't safe.

They had to leave.

* * *

'Do you want to leave?' her dad asked once the sun had come up. Daryl had taken a break from putting the walkers and the humans down. He was crouched in front of her, his eyes on hers, making sure she was paying attention to him. 'Me and you. On the road.'

Nix looked back at the others, squinting as the sun rose higher in the air. They had been lucky when Daryl and the others had arrived. If it had just been them without the backup, Nix knew she'd be dead. She looked back at her father, shaking her head. 'Better in numbers.'

Daryl nodded, chewing on a fingernail. She pushed his hand out of his mouth. 'Sorry I didn't bring Merle back.'

'It's OK. He's not dead.'

Daryl nodded his head in agreement; Merle couldn't be dead. 'Do you want to try your hearing aids?' he signed to her after a moment of silence between them.

The girl shrugged a shoulder, not looking at him. 'It's quiet when they work.'

'Better than silence.' He held out the hearing aids to her. Nix pulled a face, nose scrunched up. Reluctantly, she put them in her ears, turning them on. The two waited, and then Daryl clicked his fingers beside her ears.

"Nix?"

"Quiet," she said, voice low. Still, she treasured when she could hear her father say her name. "Better to hear than nothing."

Nix didn't like talking. She hadn't grown up doing it. When she had gotten her hearing aids, she had had to learn how to talk then. It hadn't been fun, and she resented using her voice, always forgetting how to use it properly. She had other ways of communicating with people. The slight slur of her voice, the way she couldn't say words quite right made people stare at her, and she felt like she already had too many reasons for them to be staring at her in the first place. She couldn't pronounce most words, and they had never been able to get a teacher to help her with her speech.

Daryl nodded, though sighed as he saw her apprehension. "I know you don't like wearing them, the sound is weird, but it will keep you safe. If you can hear the walkers, that gives you the advantage."

Nix winced at the sound of footsteps on gravel. She looked around to see Glenn there.

"Hey. So, on one of my runs into the city, I found these." Glenn held his hand out, and some hearing aids were there. Nix liked his voice, it was a sweet sound. "I didn't know if they'd be useful or not, but maybe they'll help more than those?"

"Thanks," Daryl said, sounding genuine, as Nix nodded and took them from him.

They were different, a newer type of behind the ear hearing aids. Hers were bigger and clunky. These were smaller, and would maybe fit her better. She let her dad sort out the hearing aids, tense as she took out the old ones and waited for the new ones to work. Daryl put them on her ears, turned them on, then clicked his fingers again, the sound louder, sharper. She made a noise in the back of her throat.

"Louder?"

Nix nodded, looking around. Faintly, she could hear the sound of the fires where they were burning the walker bodies.

"Right, look at me." She did as she was told. "This ain't a good world, Nix. Last night proves it. You have to use those hearin' aids." Nix was thankful that he signed along, letting her get adjusted to everything, even though some of the words didn't match up in time to the signs he made. His accent made it hard to understand what he said, and she was still so unfamiliar with sound, despising hearing aids.

'Batteries,' she signed, feeling helpless. Was her life going to revolve around finding batteries for her hearing aids? Nix felt like she was going to become a liability, needing others to go out and find them for her.

"We will figure it out," he said firmly. "But you have to keep them on. I know you don't like sound, but this will keep you safe. You'll hear the walkers approachin'. In this world, you have to wear them. Glenn can run for more batteries for you."

Nix shifted on her feet, uncomfortable. 'It's so _loud_. My head is going to split.'

Daryl nodded, understanding her discomfort. "It was louder before. But it's better you can hear a little than not at all." He shifted, pulling out a small gun. He turned it around so the grip was held out to her. "I know Merle taught you. Show me you know how to use it safely."

Nix took the gun. "Safety off, on," she said slowly, showing him. "Clip, full," she said, taking it out, seeing the bullets in there. "I can disassemble and reassemble it. Clean it too." Nix looked at him, and he nodded. She did as she had to, disassembling the gun before putting it back. "Aim for the head, don't waste a bullet."

"Well done." Daryl said, smiling at her, though it was tight and didn't reach his eyes. "You don't use it unless you have to. Misuse it, and I'll take it away."

"You sure that's a good idea?"

Nix looked up at Shane. She didn't like his voice. It sounded how she thought gravel did, all rough and uneven.

"Nix knows how. She's been taught well."

Nix nodded. "Respect the gun, don't fuck around with it."

Daryl looked at her. "Watch yer mouth." he said sharply.

'Sorry,' she signed to Daryl.

"If she accidentally kills someone, hurts them, it's on you." Shane said, pointing a finger at Daryl, who seemed unbothered by it. Neither of them liked Shane and his loud mouth, or his attitude towards them.

When Shane turned his back, Nix stuck her tongue out at him childishly. Daryl turned her back to him, and he gave her a holster for it. She put it on her thigh, putting the gun in place. Daryl took her over to Carol and Lori, who were with their children. Sophia was quiet; Nix knew she was trying to deal with the fact she'd lost her dad in the massacre last night.

"Keep her safe."

"We will," Lori said, then saw the gun on her. She looked at Daryl, eyes wide and angry. "She's a _child_."

"I know how to use it."

The others seemed surprised that she spoke. She pushed her hair back, showing the hearing aids there.

"You can hear now?"

Nix nodded. 'I don't like using them. It makes me feel weird. My voice is ... weird too.' Daryl translated her words, telling them she didn't have a full grasp on speaking, that she was still learning that skill.

"Why didn't you use them before?"

She shrugged a shoulder at Carol's question. 'I don't like them. And sound is a lot.' Carol looked like she understood how she felt. They kept each other company until it was decided on where they would go next. They were to go to the CDC.


	2. The Farm

Nix stuck by her father’s side in the truck. The engine was loud, and Nix held back the flinches, keeping her arms around her legs, squinting away from the bright sun. The world was still shockingly loud to her, even after most of the sound had left the world.

“Nixie?”

She made a noise in the back of her throat. She was alright at making those types of sounds, incoherent but audible. It was always a struggle trying to find her voice, her confidence in the skill lacking.

“I’m glad you’re keepin’ those hearing aids on.”

Nix nodded, but couldn’t help but sigh a little, thinking hard before she spoke, words full of purpose. “What if the CDC is a bust?” Her hands moved along with the question, too used to signing. It was an odd experience.

“We’ll figure it out. We ain’ goin’ to Fort Bennin’. Don’t care what Shane says.”

“I don’t like his voice. I don’t like _him_.”

Daryl glanced over at her. “I don’t like him either. Glad you’ve got your head on right.”

She was relieved that her father had the same gut instinct over the man. It had to be because they were Dixons, and they were always distrustful of cops. They kept quiet, following the other vehicles along the long road. They had to come to a stop when the RV signalled it. One of theirs, Jim, had been bitten; it seemed like it was his time to go.

Nix stayed in the truck, waiting for her father to return. He did so not long after, and he told her about the run to the gas station to get a radiator hose and some other items to help make the RV run just a little bit longer. Nix kept to herself, grabbing a book and let herself be occupied by the story. Once they had returned with the things the RV needed, they resumed their drive into the city.

It was dark by the time they got into the city, close enough to the CDC building. Nix kept herself close by her father’s side but left enough space so that he could shoot his crossbow if need be. When they got to the building, it wouldn’t open and the shutters were down, keeping them locked out. Nix felt the tension running through her back, down her spine, and her eyes were wide as she tried to spot any walkers nearby. The group started to panic, which Nix knew wasn’t the best thing in the world. They were making noise, and it was messing with Nix’s hearing aids, and it was _going to attract walkers_. In the distance, Nix could see corpses getting to their feet, moving towards them, eager to eat what was making such noise.

The feedback in her ears made her wince, and she tried to ignore it, concentrating on the closeness of the walkers, and how they would get out of the mess they had found themselves in.

“Nix!” She pressed herself to her father’s side, following him and the others as they tried to retreat, to escape from the undead city.

Behind them, Rick was making more noise, and it messed with Nix’s hearing aids. She grimaced, eyes squeezed shut as the feedback ran through her ears, feeling like it was shooting through her brain. The sound of the shutters opening had them stopping in their tracks. The silence afterwards was like a breath of fresh air to Nix.

It had been a rush, getting in and collecting all their stuff from their vehicles. Once the doors were shut, Nix felt a sense of doom. The doctor – Edwin Jenner, did the man say? – was taking them away, to an elevator. They went down, and Nix pressed closer to her father, not liking how cramped they were in the tight space. She didn’t know all these people that well, much less the doctor who was standing too close for comfort.

“Claustrophobic?” Jenner asked, and Nix looked up to see him looking at her. She frowned up at him and felt that there was something off about him. She shook her head at him, hand resting on the hilt of her knife. “Well, you all look harmless enough, but I thought I’d have to keep an eye out on the little boy over there, looks like it’ll have to be on you instead.”

Nix shrugged a shoulder, not sure what to say to that. She was relieved when the elevator doors opened, and they could get out of it. They followed the doctor down the corridors, getting blood taken from them, and then they got to the housing parts of the underground building. Nix was surprised when the men mentioned that they had hot water. Even before the world had gone to shit, hot water had been few and far in between for Nix and Daryl.

They went into their own rooms, and Nix went into the shower first. It was relieving to be in there, getting all the sweat and grime off her skin. Once she was done, she stepped out into clean pyjamas, and saw that her dad was sitting on the couch, waiting for her to finish.

‘There’s a library,’ Daryl told her. ‘I’ll get showered, then we go meet the others. Afterwards, you can go to the library.’

Nix nodded, and once Daryl had finished in the shower, the two went to join the others at the table in the kitchen. It was loud, and Nix was glad she had left her hearing aids in the bedroom she had taken residence in. They were enjoying a hearty meal, with food and alcohol. Nix had often hidden the alcohol in her home from Merle so they could avoid the ordeal of a drunken Merle.

She sat down, finding a seat closer to the door. Daryl came in, going straight for the alcohol, much like Nix had expected. She wondered if she would have to keep an eye on him and his antics. The others talked, and it seemed like the drunker they got, the more they forgot that she was there. Then again, she didn’t make a sound, and kept to herself, eating the food that had been put in place. It was amusing, seeing them so free for the first time, like the apocalypse wasn’t happening above their heads.

Nix was still suspicious of the doctor. When she looked over at him, she caught him looking at her. Before Nix could attempt to sign her concern, Shane voiced his thoughts. From the looks on everyone’s faces; it had been what Nix had been thinking about the doctor.

At least she hadn’t been the killjoy.

Everyone slowly started to retreat to the rooms they had been allocated, and she told her father that she would be visiting the library. Nix had been eager to visit the library and see what types of books there were in store for her to read. She hadn’t managed to get her hands on many books, and if they were going to be staying at the CDC, then she wanted to get a good start on the fiction section they had.

‘I’ll come find you in a while so we can get a good night’s sleep.’

Nix nodded, letting him return to their rooms as she ventured through the corridors. She walked for a while until the library appeared around a corner, and she stepped in through the doorway. Carol, Sophia and Carl were already in there. They waved at her as she approached, and Nix returned the gesture. She made her way over to them, seeing the book Sophia had in her hands, _Matilda_.

‘Matilda,’ Nix signed to Sophia, slowly spelling out the name for her. Sophia smiled, fingers nervously following the sign. ‘Phoenix. Sophia.’ She pointed to each of them once she’d signed their names.

“Your name is Phoenix? I thought it was Nix?” Nix shrugged at Sophia’s question. For as long as she’d been alive, her father and uncle had used that nickname. It felt more like her instead of her full name.

They spent some time together in the library, looking at the different books, and it helped Nix forget about what was going on above them. Nix picked out the first Harry Potter book. She’d had a tattered, second-hand set of the whole series. It had been the most her dad had been able to afford for her eleventh birthday. It had meant the world to her, and she had treasured the copies she had owned for that short year.

Carol patted Nix’s shoulder, then pointed over to her father, who was standing in the doorway, a façade of anger on his face that Nix could look straight through. The façade fell when she caught his eye, and he smiled at her, warmth reaching his eyes. She waved to the others before she walked over to her dad, holding the book out to him. He took hold of it, nodding his head as he looked at it.

‘Of course,’ he signed to her before he put his arm around her shoulders, leading her out of the library. ‘Harry Potter?’ he signed to her once they had gotten back to their rooms, the doors shut and the lamps flickering on.

Nix nodded her head, sitting on the couch. He sat beside her, handing her the book. ‘It’s nice to read.’

‘Good. You deserve something nice.’ Daryl kissed the side of her head, roughened hand on her arm a warm comfort. Nix smiled a little, then leaned into his side, opening the book to the first page.

The next day, things went wrong. The air con turned itself off, it was revealed that they were low on fuel to keep the building running, and then their whole group ended up locked in the computer room with Jenner, who refused to let them go or listen to their pleas. Nix felt the panic in her rise, and Daryl pulled her aside, crouching down so they were on the same eye level.

‘We’re going to be OK. We’ll get out of here.’ Nix nodded, but he saw the fear in her eyes. He pulled her into a hug, and she let the tears go. She was scared, but she had her father there with her, and she knew he would do what he could to make sure she would be safe.

Nix ended up sitting beside Sophia as Daryl hacked away at the metal door with an axe. The two little girls held hands, scared of their inevitable deaths. Nix didn’t know what the doctor said about their end, what would happen to them, but she knew it wasn’t good from the expressions everyone else had on their faces. Nix was too scared to ask just _what_ would be in store for them, how they would die.

Rick spoke with Jenner, saying something meaningful, and the doctor looked around at them all, seeing their scared expressions. It took several long moments before Jenner turned away from them, looking to the computers as he typed away on them. Nix looked to where her father was standing by the door, and saw it lower behind him.

They were let out of the CDC.

* * *

They were in a traffic snarl. They had been driving for a while, were far enough away from the CDC that had blown up. This was a new traffic snarl, different to the one that had been going into Atlanta. It was worse on either side of the road. It had been impossible for all of their cars to make it through unscathed. Daryl had long since ditched his truck back in Atlanta, instead opting to use Merle’s motorcycle. Nix had gotten onto the back of it with him. Daryl knew she felt safer with him, especially since they had forgotten her hearing aids in the CDC, which had now been blown to something less than ashes.

Nix held onto her father tightly, head tucked into his back as they led the way through the snarl, trying to lead the RV through it. They took the road slow and careful, trying to find the best route for the big RV. They came to a stop when the RV decided it was done, steam billowing out from the front of it.

Their group crowded around the RV, and Dale said something about the radiator hose, and Nix decided to go snooping around the abandoned cars. Nix made a noise of surprise, pulling out a rifle from the yellow car she’d been snooping through. Shane was quick to notice and snatch it out of her hands, telling her off even though she couldn’t hear him. When his back was turned, she flipped her middle finger up to his back.

It was decided to search through the cars, to see if there was anything they could use, though Lori seemed uncomfortable at the idea of taking things. Nix kept to herself, sneaking between the cars, trying to find anything of use. She kept returning to the group with her findings, a few guns, food and bottled water, along with several knives. Shane looked surprised at the items she had acquired whilst Daryl looked amused at it.

Nix grabbed her backpack, the tattered old one that Daryl had gotten her for her first birthday at school. It had lasted throughout the years, and now she was using it to hold survival gear. Nix held onto the bag straps briefly, glad of the familiarity of it in the new, scary world. She missed how things used to be, even if they hadn’t been in the best financial situation.

There were some packets of food that she stuffed into her bag, along with two separate bottles of water that were unopened. Nix’s jaw dropped when she spotted the sword, and she grabbed it without thinking, grinning to herself. She looked across the car to see Sophia there, and showed it to her. Sophia looked a little unnerved but nodded when she eyed up the blade. She looked away from Nix, and she saw the way her face paled before Sophia ducked under the car. Nix looked in the direction Sophia had, and her heart leapt into her throat; walkers by the hundreds were walking towards them. Nix ducked, hiding from view as she crawled underneath the car.

The two girls were underneath the same car, and Nix pulled her backpack underneath the car, the sword sheathed. Carefully, Nix pulled the sword on, the strap going over her chest as the sword rested against her back. Her bag was sat beside her, and Nix kept an arm looped through one of the bag straps as she looked to Sophia. Nix held the other girl’s hand and watched as Sophia put her other hand over her mouth and nose, muffling any sound she would make. Nix kept her mouth shut tight, tense as she watched the feet dragging along on the ground.

The dead feet shuffled past them, unaware that they were hidden underneath the cars. Across from them, Carl was underneath a car, and Rick was under the one beside him. Nix wished she had her hearing aids in, to listen to the dead, so that she could hear when it would be clear for them to get out from under the cars.

It was long, the minutes stretched as the dead moved on, unaware of their group as they hid under the cars. Nix didn’t keep count on the seconds and concentrated on the girl next to her. Sophia was clinging to her doll, the terror in her face as she held onto Nix’s hand so tightly it hurt; Nix didn’t do anything about it, holding onto Sophia’s as she felt just as scared as the other girl. She didn’t want to let go, too scared of letting go, like it would make the dead notice them and drag them out from their hiding spot.

After a long while, the dead feet stumbling past them slowly lessened. A few minutes passed, and then Sophia pulled away from Nix, daring to go and see if the coast was clear. Nix jumped when Sophia jerked back in, and she saw the undead coming for them. Nix pushed Sophia out from their hiding spot, and she got to her feet, seeing the walkers coming for them.

Nix kicked the knee in of one of the closest walkers, then kicked it in the chest so it fell over as Sophia got to her feet. ‘Run.’

Sophia grabbed her hand, and then they climbed over the railing, sliding down the hill, avoiding the stinging nettles. Nix looked back up to see the walkers coming after them. There were four walkers on their trail. The two girls rushed away from the walkers, and Nix tried to lead the way, away from the herd, trying to sneak past the ones that were after them. Nix held onto Sophia, not daring to let go as she led her through the forest. She didn’t know where she was going, just desperate to try and find somewhere safe for them to hide until Daryl came looking for them.

Nix looked around once more, and spotted Rick through the thicket of trees. She changed direction and pulled Sophia along. They caught up to him, and Rick kneeled down in front of them, saying something to Sophia. Nix offered him the sword, and he took it from her, and then the three of them were running from the walkers again. Nix kept up to Rick’s pace as he carried Sophia. They jumped into a small lake of sorts, and then Rick pushed them to go hide into a little alcove, telling them to stay put until he came back, or to put the sun on their left shoulders if he didn’t return. Rick tried his best to get the message across to Nix so that she understood in case Sophia didn’t.

Nix held Sophia close to her, the girl scared as Rick waved the sword, getting the four walkers to follow him. She made them both wait until Rick and the walkers were out of sight. Sophia pulled away from Nix and made to get out of their new hiding spot, but Nix didn’t want to, wanting to wait until Rick got back. Though she knew that walkers could find her, and she would rather be out there and be able to run instead of being in there and being trapped.

The two helped each other climb back up and made their way back to the highway. Until something spooked Sophia, and then the girl went sprinting in the opposite direction. Nix didn’t bother thinking twice, following after the girl, trying to keep up to her frantic run. Nix managed to catch up to Sophia and made her stop for a moment. ‘Stay together.’ Her hands went down in the Y sign, palm down, then she pressed her fists together, thumbs on top, shaking it up and down. It was clear to Sophia what she meant, especially when she mouthed along what she meant for emphasis. Sophia nodded, and she looked like she was going to burst into tears. Nix didn’t blame her, she felt like she was going to start doing the same thing.

Nix knew she was the braver kid out of the two of them, and she knew she had to make a choice for them. They had gone off the beaten path, and she knew she wouldn’t be able to go back to the highway, not with how Sophia was shaking so much, unable to be Nix’s ears. They had to try and find somewhere safe so that they could wait there until Daryl and the others cane looking. Daryl had to come looking for them.

Sophia tugged on Nix’s hand, leading them in the wrong direction. Nix tried to get her to realise it, but Sophia shook her head, and Nix could see the tears going down her face. Nix didn’t know what to do, so they kept walking. She didn’t know how long they had been walking for, but it didn’t ease the way her stomach churned, and it got worse when the sun started to set over the horizon. They looked around, and then Sophia shrieked at the sight of a walker approaching them. Nix took out her knife, holding onto it tightly as Sophia stood behind her, hand hovering just above Nix’s shoulder.

 _Dixons don’t get scared,_ Nix thought to herself before she moved towards the eager walker, dodging the hands as she kicked the knee out from under it. It came down to her level, snarling, and she stabbed it through the forehead before it could try and grab her. The force of the stab sent her falling down on top of it, the blade going deeper into the walker’s head, and Nix knew it was truly dead. She yanked the knife out roughly and got back to her feet before she looked back to Sophia.

She signed, ‘You OK?’ to Sophia, trying to make her expression questioning. Sophia shook her head, face scrunching up as she tried to hold back the tears and fear. A horrified look came onto her face, and Sophia became paler than she had been previously. Nix looked back around and pointed her knife up defensively.

It was a man.

Oh, god, it was a man.

He put his rifle down, hands up in surrender to them. He started talking, but Nix couldn’t hear, and Sophia was going to be unresponsive, especially to a male stranger. It didn’t help that Sophia was still struggling with sign, so she couldn’t try and translate what the man was saying for Nix.

“I have somewhere safe,” the man said. Nix frowned up at him; Merle had told her all about what men would do to little girls like her, like Sophia, when he’d been drunk and had been told to babysit. “You won’t be hurt. I promise.” The man crossed his heart, doing the sign for the word. Nix wondered if he knew that sign or not.

Behind her, Sophia was shaking, and her skin was clammy and cold. Neither of them were equipped to be outside. All Nix had was some food and weapons for a day for one person tucked away in her backpack. She didn’t have much choice. Nix glanced at Sophia, who gave a shaky nod of her head. They followed the man back to his safe place.

* * *

The man lived on a farm.

They got there, and the owner had taken one look at them and let them in. It had to be the fact that both of them were wary, that Sophia hadn’t stopped her violent trembling since the walkers. They were just two little girls alone in the apocalypse, and that had been more than enough for the doors to be open to them. It had taken less than ten seconds for these people to realise that Nix couldn’t hear anything they said to her. Their leader brought out a notepad and pen and sat beside Nix, writing in the notepad before he showed it to her.

_You and your friend are very lucky  
to be here. Otis found you before dark. We don’t  
know what could have happened if you  
hadn’t been found. My name is Hershel, and  
Patricia is the one helping your friend._

Nix nodded, reading over his words before she took the pen.

**_I’m Nix, this is Sophia. We are with a  
group. They’re on the highway, and  
will be waiting for us. Can you tell them  
that you found us?_ **

She pushed the notebook back to Hershel, wondering how things were going to play out for them there. Hershel was quick to write out his response to her.

_We cannot let anyone out this late at  
night, but in the morning, I shall send  
Maggie, my eldest, to your people. We  
want nothing more than you to be  
reunited with your friends and family._

Nix nodded. ‘Thank you,’ she signed to him, and he nodded to her. The oldest girl, Maggie, led Nix into the kitchen, where Patricia was tending to Sophia’s scrapes and bruises. Sophia gave Nix a wobbly smile, and Nix sat beside her, taking hold of her hand. They were safe, for the time being.

Neither of the two girls slept that night. They were too antsy, thinking about Carol and Daryl. They wanted their parents back, wanted to be with them, somewhere safe.

‘My mom?’

‘She’ll be OK,’ Nix signed back, trying to comfort her friend. The two wrapped each other up in their arms, underneath the covers of the bed they were allowed to stay in until their group could return.

In the morning, Maggie had come back empty handed, only for Rick and Shane to appear with an unconscious Carl Grimes, who had been shot by Otis. The two girls kept quiet before they saw Rick and Shane.

The surprise was thick and obvious in Shane’s face. Nix knew he hadn’t expected them to have survived a night out there alone. But the two girls were full of surprises. Rick had been thankful to see them, had embraced the two girls in a tight hug, crying into their shoulders. Nix could feel the way he was talking to them, words muffled in their shoulders as he undoubtedly thanked God that they had been safe on the farm all along.

Rick kneeled down in front of the two girls, smiling at them despite the situation that his son was in.

“I’m glad you’re here, alive, safe. Your mom and your dad will be happy to see you.”

Nix smiled at him, as did Sophia. They looked up at Shane, who didn’t quite have the thankful look in his eye. Nix felt tension running underneath her skin, uncomfortable with the look on his face. Nix wouldn’t trust Shane with sorting out a dog’s dinner, never mind an entire group of humans trying to survive the apocalypse. There was just something in his eyes that scared Nix, had her on edge whenever she was around him. Nix wanted her dad back, just to feel a little bit safe with being around Shane.

Throughout the day, the others from their group appeared on the farm. T-Dog came with a rough looking arm that was covered in blood and bandages. Carol and Daryl had all but ran into the house, trying to find their kids.

Nix jumped to her feet and ran at her father, jumping into his arms, holding onto him as tightly as she could. She hadn’t told Sophia, but there had been several long moments where she’d thought they’d never see their parents again. They had been so panicked, falling off the trail that had gotten Nix all confused and scared. But they were safe now, and their parents were with them once more.

Shane had left with Otis to get the right equipment Hershel would need to operate on Carl and save his life. Only Shane had returned. Nix didn’t verbalise her thoughts on it, but when she had looked up at her father’s face, she knew he had caught on to it too. They knew that Shane had to have killed Otis out there. Nix didn’t want to know how Shane had done it, and Nix took the time to mourn the man who had lost his life; he was the reason that she and Sophia were with their parents once more.

Over their stay at the farm with Hershel and his family, Carl had recovered from his gunshot wound. Nix and Sophia hadn’t been allowed to venture far from their parents and had to stay in their line of sight at all times. Nix was happy to oblige with what Daryl wanted her to do; she didn’t plan to leave her father’s side again any time soon.

Daryl spent hours teaching Nix more ways to defend herself. Carol and Sophia had approached, asking if Daryl could teach Sophia too. Daryl looked at Nix, who signed ‘please’ to him, desperate for herself and Sophia to never feel as scared as they had been when running through the trees all alone. Daryl sighed before he nodded, talking it over with Carol as Sophia smiled at Nix, pleased to learn something useful.

Over those days, the two girls improved. Afterwards, Sophia and Nix would do schoolwork alongside Carl. Then they would learn some new signs, or rather, Sophia and Carl would ask for a sign or a sentence, and Nix would sign it out for them, teaching them. Her friends would repeat it, and Nix would correct them if they didn’t do it quite right. It was nice that they were trying to learn how to communicate with her, especially since she had long since lost her hearing aids, and she doubted that she would ever get any ever again.

The others in their group joined in too on occasion. They learned the alphabet and some basic sign language, which helped when Nix wanted to get something across to them. Though Daryl was often left translating for her, so she didn’t have to try and read lips; it helped when they tried their own hand at sign language instead of leaving all the work to her. Nix felt like a part of their group, felt included and it made her heart feel all warm and fuzzy in a new way she had to try and get used to.

It hadn’t been a great experience when the group learned that Hershel had been keeping walkers in the barn. That hadn’t gone down well, and Hershel had almost kicked them out when Shane had led the others to shoot the walkers as they came out of the barn he had broken open. Hershel had only allowed them to stay on the farm because of Nix, Carl and Sophia, and Lori when she revealed to everyone that she was pregnant. Nix had been terrified when Shane had lost his cool and broke open the barn. She knew he was starting to become unstable, was losing his cool more often and reaped the consequences. Nix didn’t want to be there when it all came crumbling down around Shane.

Maggie had also taken the time out of her day to teach Nix and Sophia how to ride horses. Sophia had picked up the skill far better than Nix could, but Nix was still learning, still trying with the stubborn horses. Nix knew there would be a time in the future where there would be no more fuel for cars, and they would need to optimise horses once more.

‘How are you?’ Sophia signed; her hands confident in the movement.

Nix smiled at her. ‘I’m good. You?’

‘Happy.’ Nix raised an eyebrow at Sophia. ‘I have my mom. I have friends and family.’

She guessed that was as good a reason to be happy. They even had a place to stay. Nix thought that they had something good at the farm, but she was scared that something would happen, like back in the camp outside of Atlanta, and then they’d have to leave again, search for somewhere else to live. She didn’t want to move around so much with the walkers ready to breathe down their necks and tear them apart.

As the colder weather started to settle in, they started to move into Hershel’s house. Nix had turned thirteen during the cooling months, but they didn’t have time to celebrate. They put food, water, and essentials in the basement, for when it would be needed. Nix felt optimistic about the whole thing, though she had warned the group that they had to have more security around the farm. The farm itself was a hotspot with the cattle and the amount of people living there, and it didn’t help that it was still close to Atlanta, which was swarming with walkers that had long since run out of food within the city. The others had agreed on her point, especially as they still had to deal with Randall and the threat that he and his mystery group brought.

Until they didn’t. The kid had escaped, though Nix didn’t know how true that statement from Shane was; the man had returned with a bloodied nose, shouting bloodier murder. Lori and Carol had been quick to usher Nix, Sophia and Carl inside of the house. Nix wanted to know what was going on, but she had seen the men of the group running out into the forest with guns and flashlights. There was nothing that she could do except wait for when they returned.

Nix went into the space that she had been staying in and grabbed her coat, sword and backpack. She felt ready for whatever was going to go their way. Her optimism had vanished, and now she was scared of what was going to happen. When she returned to the others, she noticed the way they had all tensed up, scared.

‘Gunfire,’ Sophia told her when no-one else did, then looked around as Lori rushed throughout the house. ‘Carl is gone.’

‘Carl is so dumb.’ Nix pursed her lips a little, which made Sophia giggle.

It wasn’t long after that that things went downhill. Walkers, a large herd of them, had started to approach the farm. The gunshots had led them straight to the farm. Things got crazy and out of hand before Nix could realise what was truly happening. Sophia had vanished from Nix’s side, Lori had rushed outside, and Nix was clueless as to what she should do. Nix had gone down to the basement, grabbing food, water and guns. She shoved them into her backpack and slung it onto her back before she ran out of the house.

She couldn’t hear the screams or the snarls, but could see people running around, trying to escape the walkers.

Nix found herself being forced into a corner, several walkers approaching her. She did her best, slashing at them, cutting their heads in half with the sword she had. She didn’t know how to use the sword properly, stance off, but Nix was going to be effective with the sword and take out as many walkers as she could. She tripped over a walker she had already killed, and the last one she was trying to kill fell on top of her, snarling in her face. Nix held her breath, wincing as she pulled out her knife and stabbed it in the head.

The body was cold when it dropped on her, and she pulled herself out from underneath it, grabbing the sword as she went. There were too many of the dead around her, and Nix ran. She didn’t know which way she was going, but she was going to avoid the walkers at all costs. The night slowly turned into day, but she didn’t stop running. If she stopped, she knew that the dead would be on her before she had the chance to fight back. She had to keep moving, she couldn’t die alone in the forest.

She had to find somewhere safe – find the others.

* * *

When Nix made it back to the highway, where she and Sophia had had to run from those walkers, she found it empty of people. The sun was high in the sky, and there wasn’t any insight as to where the others could have gone. There was no RV, no sign of Merle’s bike that now belonged to her dad. He had told her that if they were ever separated whilst on the farm, to return to the sight where she and Sophia had tried to escape from the dead. That had always been the plan with everyone if the worst happened.

Had they left her behind?

They couldn’t have. Her dad would never leave her behind. He would fight tooth and nail to make sure she was OK, was alive and safe, right there beside him.

They couldn’t have left her. Could they?

Nix knew that she couldn’t stay where she was; walkers would be coming out of the city, and she couldn’t hear. She could feel the panic building up, and she forced herself to breathe normally. Nix knew she would be fine. She was a Dixon. Nothing could kill her but a Dixon. The same went for her father and uncle.

Keeping it together, Nix searched through the cars, collecting another backpack with essentials she would need; period pads, bottled water, food, a gun and some ammo, along with more knives than she had anticipated and a sharpener. The sharpener would help make sure her blades wouldn’t be dulled down to nothing.

Nix did her best to keep it together, not letting herself cry. The others had gone, and they had to have thought she was dead the moment the walker fell onto her back at the farm. But there she was, alone on the highway, living and breathing, hoping that her father would show up. Nix didn’t want to leave in case the others slowly turned up, but deep down she knew it was useless; the others had cars, they would’ve come back quicker than herself on food. If they had even come back to this spot.

 _OK, I can do this,_ she thought to herself, nodding like that would help confirm it, would help her get through the rest of her life in the apocalypse. She didn’t like thinking about how short her life would be, deaf and alone in the end of the world.


	3. A Year Alone

It had been getting colder and colder as each day passed. Nix had found refuge in a meat locker. It smelled like blood and flesh, but Nix did her best to ignore it; there were worse scents to be surrounded by, and she was thankful for the shelter the meat locker provided. It helped that she could get through winter in there, holed up away from the dead. She had also found several blankets that she had been quick to make use of, using them to help preserve her warmth. It was cold in the meat locker, so Nix found herself wrapped up tight with as many blankest as she could manage, trying to preserve her body heat.

It amazed her that she had been able to keep herself alive during the freezing winter months. Nix had done her best, dealing with the cold, half-frozen walkers, the harsh weather, the risks of being around unfriendly people. Nix knew she was lucky whenever she came across canned food, and she didn’t take it for granted. Even when she found canned food that she didn’t like, she kept it and ate it; her dad would be proud to see her eating all the food that she found gross. It made her miss him more and more.

Thinking about her father hurt something awful, tearing at her heart. She had no idea where he was, or if he had even hade it off Hershel’s farm. Nix had to keep hope alive and believe that he had gotten away from the farm. She hoped that the others had made it away unscathed. Just thinking about the others brought tears to her eyes, wondering what they were doing, if they thought about her and if she truly was dead or not. She knew Shane would be quick to believe her to be dead once more; he had never had faith in her or Sophia, but they had proved him wrong once before.

The cold weather left Nix cautious; if she were to become sick or unwell, she didn’t have anyone to look out for her. It was something that frightened her, the idea of being sick and dying alone. When she had been young and ill with her father by her side, it had still been a scary ordeal, always getting worried when too much vomit left her body, unable to replenish what she lost. She couldn’t let herself get too sick that she couldn’t take care of herself. Life for Nix was already hard, being alone, the inability to hear. Nix was always on edge, and she didn’t know if she would wake up the next day or be dead.

Regardless, she did her best to keep herself alive.

Nix was sat in the gross meat locker, a candle lit beside her as she pretended to listen to the snowstorm outside. She’d seen the start of it earlier in the day, the flurry of snow coming down to the earth. It was too dark now, and she was stuck inside her safe haven. If she tried hard enough, it felt like she could feel the storm outside, especially when she let her head rest against the cold wall. It made her feel human, and she could pretend for a precious few seconds that the end of the world hadn’t happened, that she was in her ratty old house and not in a meat locker.

She pulled her blankets around herself tightly, curling up on the floor, head resting on an old pillow that smelled like tobacco and weed. She looked at the candle, blinded by the flame as it danced upwards towards the ceiling.

In her head, she could almost see her dad, signing to her, telling her what to do. It had already been a rare case to be able to hear him with her old, clunky hearing aids, with the newer ones Glenn had found for her. But now she didn’t have that luxury anymore, and she was starting to forget what he sounded like. It was hard to remember sound, hard to remember how to make a sound, to form words. She tried to cling to the memory of her father saying her name, comforting her.

Nix blew out the flame, able to smell the scent of burnt cake candles, and she shut her eyes tight. Her dad was there, in her head, hands moving over the signs he’d made a lot since the end of the world. It eased her body, letting a little tension leave her.

_Be safe._

_Don’t let your guard down._

_Keep that gun handy._

_Don’t lose your knife._

_Stay alive._

_I’ll keep you safe._

_Look out for the dead._

_We’ll be safer together._

Nix tried not to think about how much she missed her father, the intense hole he left behind in her heart. Now she was all alone, and her father wasn’t there to protect her like he used to. Nix didn’t know what to do, how she would be able to survive without someone there to be her ears. She didn’t like to think long term and had decided to just survive somehow to see the next sunrise. Surviving another day alone in the apocalypse meant she had lived longer than she ever had.

It was hard trying to get to sleep, she felt like she was always in and out of it, never fully resting, body too tense to ever let her do something like that alone. It was hard to let her guard down. Her eyes were shut, her ears unreliable. She had to rely on her sense of smell, her sense of touch; she could never truly relax in the state she was in, too terrified to do something so monumental, lest she found herself being torn apart, screaming a sound she would never hear.

Winter alone scared Nix. How was she supposed to go the rest of her _life_ in the apocalypse?

* * *

As winter eased up, with spring slowly making an appearance, Nix decided to move on.

She set about moving around the town she was in, gathering as many supplies as she could carry in her backpacks, in the little pull along cart that she’d found in a house. The cart was green, and it reminded her of Daryl, so she kept it for that, and for how useful it proved to be.

It probably made noise, wheels rattling on concrete, but Nix couldn’t help but see the upside to having it around.

The weather lightened up, but she kept the things that would keep her alive – food, water, blankets, clothes and weapons – close by. The blankets and some of her food were left in the pull along cart. Her essentials were kept on her person, as she was too terrified to be kept away from them for long periods of time.

There was no real direction to go in. It left Nix curious as to what she would do; go down to Florida, risk the gators for a boat? That was if there were any boats left after everyone and their mom had gone there to get the best boats when things had first started to turn for the worst. Or would she go up north, where the cold incapacitated the dead for her? Would she go west, further in the country, into more land of the dead, or go east, closer to that coast instead?

Nowhere felt like a good choice to go. But Nix had the rest of her life, and the whole of America to travel. She had to find somewhere to start.

Nix thought about how many she could travel up into Canada, or down into Mexico; she was used to intense heat from living in Georgia with a busted AC, so maybe Mexico would be the place to go? However, she didn’t speak Spanish, and could only sign ASL. Steering clear of Mexico sounded better, just so that she wouldn’t get into trouble for the lack of verbal languages in her skillset.

In a way, Nix wanted to go wherever her dad would be, but she didn’t know _where_ , specifically, that would be. She knew he wouldn’t go further, deeper into the west. He probably wouldn’t go down to Florida. Maybe up north, or to the east, just to get away from the Georgian heat and the cities full of the dead.

She settled on going north-east. Maybe she’d come across the others doing that. What else did she have to lose? Her shoe soles, maybe.

It was a good thing that Merle had taught her how to hotwire a car. However, driving the damn thing itself would prove to be a challenge. She had only driven a car maybe once or twice in her life, in a parking lot when her dad had one a bet and they’d felt like celebrating with some pizza.

Maybe just walking and trying to find good shoes, and maybe learning how to resole them would benefit her. There were so many skills that Nix needed to learn, and she was almost at a loss as to where to start, so figuring out how to fix her shoe soles would be a good place to start.

Each day had the weather getting warmer and warmer. Nix found herself some hats and sunscreen to protect her from the rays of the sun if just a little. She found herself moving in the shadows, to get the damn sun off her back. The sun was intense, and Nix didn’t want to give herself heatstroke; she had seen Merle get it too many times to count, and she didn’t want to be that sick without someone there for her.

Some nights, she spent them in the forests, where it was cooler at night. She’d put her cart in the trees, tied up in case it tried to fall. Then she would tie a rope around her legs and her middle, so if she moved on the branches, she wouldn’t fall to her doom. She was too far into the countryside to be anywhere near a house, walking along long winding roads with nothing but her possessions to keep her company.

Sleeping out in the wild meant mosquitos, and she used wild leeks to try and get them to leave her alone, to ease the annoying bites to her skin. It also meant that she learned about the dead. They moved in herds, and whenever they had a distraction – a noise Nix couldn’t hear – they’d turn around in that direction. When one brushed past another, that set the second one in motion and often led a chain reaction of movement. Nix observed the dead. They didn’t notice her up in the trees, despite her scent. It made Nix curious about them, not that she would go near them if she didn’t have to, but it was nice to observe them, to see what made them the undead beasts that had ended the world.

The walkers had tunnel vision of sorts; Nix had surmised after several long nights watching the dead amble past. It was an amusing thought.

The heat from summer felt like an age, seeping deep into her skin, a constant soak, and Nix was constantly moving. Walker after walker tried to attack her, but she had learned. She looked around, kept herself quiet, and oiled those stupid wheels on the pull along cart when she thought they might be making too much noise. Nix had even found a bow and some arrows and had learned how to use the weapon once more.

Her father had taught her how to use a bow, specifically a barebow, using an old bow of his. Nix had never been able to get one of her own that suited her strength, arrows her size. They had made do with Daryl’s hand-me-downs. This new barebow she had found helped her, proved to herself that she was good, could hit moving targets in the kill zone. The only thing was, it often left her with no sight on her left, being right hand and right eye dominant; it gave the dead the chance to try and sneak up on her and kill her. Nix had to trust her other senses aside from her sight, and more than once she had almost slipped up and gotten herself killed.

Every single time it came that close, it was always the feeling of cold coming in that had her moving as quickly as her body would let her, an arrow pushed up into the head of the walker that had snuck up on her.

Nix kept walking. It was one of the things she was good at. She did her best when hunting squirrels to eat; one or two could sustain her as a meal each day. In a way it helped; she only had to hunt for herself, and animals could be scarce when they wanted to be. She only had to look out for herself, just one life held in her hands. However, there was no-one to watch _her_ back, to be her ears. She had to protect herself, to learn how to do that quickly in a world that was out for her blood.

Surviving alone made her think it was possible for her to do it for as long as she needed. How many other people could claim they had survived for so long alone, deaf and so young?

Something had changed in Nix’s head. The lack of human interactions left her dreaming of things that could’ve happened if she had been found during the walker attack on the farm and if she had been quicker in getting to the highway. The dreams left her waking with a lack of air in her lungs, sweat sticking to her skin, tears burning at her eyes. She hated those brief moments where she could do nothing but cry and experience her loss once more in one fell swoop.

It didn’t do well to dwell on the past, but she missed the people she had survived with. She missed her father and her uncle, the small family that they’d had. It had been messy and full of faults, but it had been theirs, and it had been the one safe space that she’d ever had. Now it was gone, torn from her hands, and she knew she’d never get it back again.

The weather slowly turned colder once more, and it reminded Nix of her time at the farm, teaching Sophia and Carl how to sign. If they were still alive, would they be practising still? Would they be asking Daryl for tips, or would the act of sign hurt him, knowing she wasn’t there, thinking she was dead?

Or were they all dead, and she was the last one standing out of their group?

Nix knew she couldn’t be, not with how surviving an apocalypse fitted so easily as a description of her father, of her uncle. Maybe he had stuck around them, helped them survive in some shape or form. Nix wondered if Lori had given birth yet and hoped that she and the baby were both OK. Nix didn’t want to think that Lori was dead, or the unknown baby too. Maybe things were going well for them for once.

She knew that she’d never find out if Lori or the baby lived, but Nix wanted to have a bit of hope in her life.

Nix got used to wearing her thicker coats and clothing once more as winter came approaching from behind her, and her birthday surpassed her, leaving her at age fourteen. At least the walkers would calm down, unable to move as much in the weather. Nix thought that maybe she’d get more things done in the winter.

She was sat, holed up in an old house, watching as the first signs of snow pattered down. The garden out front probably used to look nice, but now the dead flowers had decayed away, the lawn overgrown. It was a house she never would have lived in before, maybe never in her life after she’d grown up. There was something about where she came from that made her understand how impossible it would have been for her to ever have a house so fancy. She felt like she was intruding on the space, but the people who had lived in the house had long since left it.

The first thing Nix had done after clearing the house out for the dead was to secure the doors, tying knots around them like Daryl had taught her. After a day there, she went through the neighbourhood, going in and out of the houses, filling her backpacks with things of use. Lighters, rags, water, and food that was a good six months out of their expiry date. Whatever, it had preservatives in it. She’d also found some knives and guns, alongside spare bullets, full clips when she was really lucky.

To say that Nix was proud of her ability to sneak in and out of houses, pick them clean and get out was an understatement. She had horded the food and water in her house for the next few months, had enough food to last her well if she rationed it. It was just her that would be eating it, and she was going to ration it as well as she could.

Once back inside of her house, Nix took to looking out of the window, blinds in place to hide her if anyone unfriendly came by. She had developed a routine, looking through the windows of the other bedrooms. The windows downstairs had long since been boarded up, and Nix didn’t want to take them down when they proved to be of use. She went through the motions, looking out of the other windows, checking the streets around her. The other bedroom windows looked out on the other sides of the street, and the one in the back showed the back yard and what laid out ahead that way.

She went back to her spot by the window, looking out over the front of the house, where she could see another street connected to the one that she was currently living on.

Most days, she was lucky if she saw a walker. Things had quietened down the more north-east she went, the more the cold weather set in place. It made her feel odd, like she missed the walkers, almost. It was strange without them there, breathing down her neck at every chance they got.

Nix sighed a little, leaning back in her chair. Her back ached from tension, but she felt like she could never relax. She never truly felt safe to turn her attention to a book, lest she be attacked by the undead or unfriendly living people.

All she needed was a few cats, and Nix reckoned she’d look like a young spinster. Just grab some of her granny’s clothes and try and imagine what fifties music would sound like as it played overhead, and she’d be a young spinster.

When she and her father had lived together before the end of the world, they hadn’t been allowed pets. But her dad told her about a pet dog, Finny, that he used to have before Nix had been brought into the world. It had been a defensive thing and had lived a few years into Nix’s life before passing. Whenever Daryl had brought out their hoover, Finny had stood between baby Nix and the loud machine, shaking in every limb, but there to protect her.

Nix wanted Finny with her, even though she couldn’t remember the dog. Having a companion like Finny would’ve made her life as a lone survivor in the apocalypse a little less lonely. Nowadays, she didn’t dare trust a dog she came across. They were slowly going back to their natural state, feral and untrained.

Fear shot through Nix as she watched a man appear on the adjoining street to the one her street connected to. He looked like he was struggling. Nix’s hand gripped the rifle she had acquired, and she glanced back to the door, half imagining someone there before she turned her attention back to the man. She watched as he struggled, taking down the last few walkers on his tail before he collapsed.

 _Don’t,_ something said in her head. _He could be a rapist, a serial killer._

 _I have weapons. He needs help,_ Nix thought, stuck between a rock and a hard place. She hadn’t moved from her chair just yet. She gripped the arms of it, tense as she stared out of the window at the unconscious man.

 _You’d be signing your own death warrant if you help him,_ the thing said, and Nix clenched her jaw at the mere idea of it.

_I won’t survive on my own. He won’t either. Better chances if we join up together._

The choice had been made before she fully thought it through. Knives were tucked away on her body, gun strapped to her thigh, the rifle put away as she grabbed her bow, the quiver strapped around her hips.

Nix snuck out of the house, crouching in case there was a walker on the loose. She got to the fencing, looking around to see the man still there, on the melting frost on the road. There weren’t any walkers in sight, but the weather was cold, and the cold would kill the man before the walkers could get their chance.

_Bad idea, bad idea._

She made it to the man and put her finger just below his nose. She was relieved when he breathed onto her finger, still alive. Still, she searched his unconscious body, taking away the weapons there before wondering how the hell she was going to get the man into the house she had been living in.

_Fuck._

* * *

After carefully dragging the man into the house, tying the door shut, she had pulled the pillows from the couch off and onto the floor and had put the man on them, which had been more difficult for her than she had anticipated. Now she had a good look at him. He was a heavy-set white man, with dark brown hair, with a slow growing beard of the same colour. Nix checked his pulse. It was maybe lower than normal, and she had to guess that he was dehydrated, was probably starving. The cold couldn’t have helped either.

Nix pressed her lips together as she stood up, moving out of arm’s reach from the man. Distressing thoughts ran through her head now that she had him in there with her. What would he react like? If he was bad, what was she going to do? Kill him? The thought made a shiver run down her spine, and her hand went to the gun strapped to her leg.

So far, she hadn’t had to take another person’s life. She didn’t want to start with this man’s life. Nix didn’t know if she could do something so monumental as taking someone’s life; she felt sick just thinking about it. If he was a good guy? Well, they’d struggle to communicate, for Nix to try and get her point across to him, and vice versa. Would he stick by her side? Or would he leave her alone, and risk it out there again?

Nix made herself useful, grabbing a blanket, putting it around the man, getting some water and food for when he woke up.

The sun had slowly started to set, and Nix shut the curtains, lighting some candles. She placed them evenly, enough for the light to give the man some ease but know that she was in charge. It was her house and it had been her who had saved his life.

After what felt hours, the man began to stir.

Nix’s hand went to the gun on her leg. What if the man had been bitten? She hadn’t checked for bite wounds.

Brown eyes were the first thing Nix saw, and she felt the tiniest bit of relief; he wasn’t a walker.

He jerked when he realised that she had a gun in her hands, back coming up against the couch. He held his hands up in surrender, mouth moving too fast for her to even try and lip read. Nix raised her gun, then made a point to put it down, then crossed her arms over her stomach, where he couldn’t see her fingers holding the hilts of her knives. He was still a potential threat to her, and she didn’t want to be unarmed around a man.

He tried to talk again, and she caught, “I won’t hurt you,” though she wasn’t sure how much to believe him on that. Men were dangerous before the end of the world, and now they could be downright lethal. She had to be careful.

Nix sighed, then pointed to her ears, and then shook her head. There was no getting around the fact that she was deaf.

“You’re deaf?” the man said, the surprise clear in his face. Nix nodded, then kicked over the notepad and pen by her feet. The man picked them up, writing quickly.

_My name is Luke. What’s yours?_

Nix read it over before writing her name out for him.

_Did you save me from dying out there?  
I was sure I would be food for the dead._

Nix nodded her head at him, and he thanked her, using the sign. She smiled a little. At least he knew one of the basics. It was an easy sign to figure out if someone didn’t know what it was.

**_Why are you alone? Do you have a group?_ **

_I did. But they were overrun in the start. Do  
you have anyone?_

Nix felt her heart tighten, and she glanced at the man before she picked the pen up. It felt nice to talk to someone now, to be able to tell someone about what she’d gone through. She was still wary of the man, but there was a certain kindness in his eyes that had her give him a little trust.

**_I did. We were on a farm. It was overrun  
by the dead. I lost my dad there, every-  
one. I don’t know if they survived. I’ve  
been alone for about a year now._ **

She watched as Luke blew out a heavy breath as he looked at what she’d written down for him. He looked back at her, giving her a sympathetic look.

_I’m sorry to hear that, Nix._

Nix watched Luke, unsure of what to do now. She had been so used to her father doing most of the social work for her, getting her acquainted with someone, now she was having to try and do it by herself. Daryl would be proud of her if he could see her now. She picked up the pen once more, thinking of what they could do.

 _We could team up. We lost our old groups._  
Doesn’t mean we should pass up another.  
But you would have to learn how to sign.

Luke read over the words she’d written, and she watched him laugh. He grinned as he looked at her, nodding his head in agreement. He held out his hand to her, and she shook it, feeling like this was a good thing. There was just something about Luke that came across an unassuming, kind man. Nix gave the man a little more trust.

* * *

‘Music,’ Nix signed for Luke, who mimicked her, a frown on his face as he got used to using his hands in a way he hadn’t before. Music as a sign was the hand moving back and forth above the non-dominant arm, near the crook of the elbow. ‘Teacher,’ she added, the sign needing both hands up on either side of the head, fingers together as the thumbs touched the forefingers, moving back and forth twice before moving down, hands open.

Luke nodded, understanding it. “Ah, music teacher!” He signed along as he spoke, looking pleased and confident at his learning abilities. ‘I should teach you about music,’ he signed slowly, frowning when he tried to remember how to sign ‘should’.

Nix clapped her hands at his signs. He had gotten them down alright, but every so often needed a reminder. Learning a language with your hands wasn’t easy, but Luke was doing his best to learn. Luke would point to objects and sign their names, trying to remember the language better.

Each day, Nix would teach Luke a new sign. They’d go through the motions of bringing it into a conversation so that the sign and placement made sense to Luke. He had also been given his own sign; the letter ‘L’ shook from left to right. The sign helped to get his attention, and it was easier than just signing out his whole name.

‘Favourite colour?’ Nix asked him, middle finger tapping her chin for the first word, the middle and forefinger tapping her chin for the second word.

Luke pursed his lips at the question. ‘Green,’ he signed, forefinger and thumb stretched out as the hand shook forwards and backwards, the other fingers curled into the palm. ‘You?’

Nix nodded, appreciating that. Green had been her favourite when she was eight. ‘Orange,’ she told him, fingers going down into the palm of her hand twice. The sign for orange was the same for the fruit and the colour, so it was easier to remember.

They bumped fists, then tended to their food. Nix and Luke had spent the majority of winter together, and now that the weather was starting to become a little warmer, the sun rising a little earlier, they were going to do some preparations. The house had been safe during the harsh winter months, but they both knew it wouldn’t be safe when the weather got warmer and the dead could start to move around easier once more.

It had been decided that Luke would drive a car that they would find – and Nix would presumably hotwire it if they couldn’t find the keys – and then they would travel. Further up north-east – towards Washington, if they could, or find a camp, a group, that would be willing to let them stay.

They had a good image of pity: a deaf girl and a man that wasn’t her father. Maybe whoever they came across would take pity on them and let them stay. There had to be communities that were safe, that could accommodate them.

‘Orange?’ Luke asked with a smile. ‘I didn’t see that coming.’

‘My dad is like the colour orange. He’s like green too,’ she explained once she had taken a bite from her canned peaches. Daryl was bright, a warm memory, fuzzy and soft, not that he would dare let someone else find that out about him. ‘I miss him.’

Luke nodded, a sad smile on his face as he reached over and clasped her shoulder for a brief moment. ‘I’m sorry you lost him.’

The two took shifts during the night, keeping watch in case unfriendly people or walkers made an appearance. They’d made a routine and it worked well enough for them. It had Nix sleeping more deeply than she had whilst she’d been alone.

Nix had gone through the garages in the neighbourhood, finding a Chevrolet that would be able to keep all their gear in. She had searched the house and found keys underneath a dead body. She’d handed them over to Luke, who got in the car as Nix gathered all their supplies. The two packed the trunk of the Chevrolet and got into the car. It smelled of tobacco and cherries, the old air freshener hanging from the rear-view mirror, trying its best.

“So long, number twelve of Midwest Boulevard,” Luke said, the words a little confusing for Nix to read off his lips. She watched as Luke waved at the house, and then she did the same when he looked over at her. He grinned, and then started the car, sending them down the road.

Nix had a book in her lap, but she was looking out of the window instead, unable to let her nerves ease down.

They were moving on, and Nix was scared that they were moving further and further away from where her father would be. If they were, then she had truly lost him. But she had to keep it in control, give herself silent hope that maybe she’d find him along the road, in some other safe place.

Luke continued their drive, and Nix wondered how long they would be on the road before they found somewhere safe, where they could start their lives over.

At least she wasn’t alone anymore. She never wanted to be alone again.


	4. New Friends

Nix was awake whilst Luke slept. She was sat on top of the car’s roof, keeping watch until it was Luke’s turn. He would be keeping watch until the sun rose. Her hands stayed on her weapons as she looked around. She didn’t like the idea of keeping watch, didn’t like how exposed they were. It was hard for her to truly keep watch, not having her hearing. However it helped her, it trained her eyes to search for things in the dark, to spot a walker before it appeared in the darkness that surrounded them.

But they were in the middle of nowhere, so she hoped that no-one else would be around to hassle them. It was dark, and that just set her on edge. It was only her and Luke. Neither of them really looked like much, so if there was someone looking at them, watching them, Nix knew that they would look like easy pickings. She had to make sure that they’d survive. She would not be easy pickings. She would fight with every cell in her damn body. It would be what her father would want her to do, what her uncle would want her to do, and she would do her damndest to do it.

The two of them had been with each other for what felt like several months now, and despite how she didn’t know the specifics of the time they’d spent together, she knew that they had grown closer. Nix knew that they were bound to become close, as they were the only company the other had.

Sometimes Nix thought about how annoying Luke was sometimes. She didn’t want to think of it in a mean way, but she had seen how he’d not pay attention to his surroundings sometimes, how a walker would be able to sneak up on him, grab his leg and surprise him. Most times, he could get rid of the threat, but it would leave Nix on edge. She couldn’t hear, and she could still sense when a walker was near – for the most part – but he had all of his senses. She didn’t want to be mean towards Luke in any way, but sometimes Luke’s lack of use when it came to his senses annoyed her.

They swapped. Nix woke Luke up, and he took watch. Nix had a fitful sleep, only halfway to sleep. She never really slept well in cars before, and now with the added threat of the dead and other people, she felt exposed when sleeping in a car. Nix was always on edge, and she could never feel safe enough to sleep. But she dealt with it anyway and was thankful for the sleep she did manage to get.

This routine lasted for a while, longer than either of them had expected. Though Nix wasn’t sure what their plan really was; it ran along the lines of driving, scavenging for food, water and fuel for the car, or ditching it for another. That was what they did in between killing the dead. It was a constant thing, and it almost made Nix feel OK in the world she found herself living in.

Luke had taught her how to drive properly. A lot of the things he did with her and for her, she wished it were her father that did it. But she knew how things were, knew she was another unlucky kid of the apocalypse, and she took it all in stride, thankful that Luke was there and could teach her such things.

She was driving, following the fading road signs, trying not to put the car in the wrong gear or to stall it by accident. It had been annoying the amount of times that she had stalled the car; Luke had been calm and had helped her get through it and figure out how to fix the problem. Nix had just been glad there hadn’t been any walkers around to trap them in the stalled vehicle.

**_JONES SPRINGS_ **

Nix glanced over at Luke. The sign was newer than the others, and he seemed to have noticed it too.

‘Let’s try it,’ he signed to her after a moment, though Nix could see the worry in his face, not entirely trusting what Jones Springs could be.

Nix nodded and turned her attention back onto the road, following the signs for Jones Springs. The signs also led them closer to the ocean, and Nix was starting to think of ways to escape from Jones Springs if they had to. It had Nix on edge, as did most everything else, and she wondered what would be at the end of all the signs. Would it be a place that people had tried to set up in the beginning of the end? Would the place have fallen?

They’d have to wait and find out.

Nix’s stomach was tied up in knots. She was so nervous as to what they’d find. Would the people there be nice and welcoming? Would they be kind? Would they see her as a liability? She clenched her teeth, tightened her grip on the steering well, and composed herself. Nix had lived alone for a goddamn year in the end of the world; she was not a liability. This place was going to be easy.

The large, grey gates appeared down the road. It had large, metal walls that spanned far in both directions. Nix squinted and could see a few people at the top of the wall. She drove the car to the gates and took the car out of gear, then looked to Luke for instructions.

‘We have to get out. Put your hands up.’

Nix did as he told her and copied his movements. Luke spoke for them as they stood on either side of their car, the engine still running. Nix was nervous; these people were strangers, and she knew better than to trust people she didn’t know. Her father and uncle had taught her as such from an early age. Stranger danger.

She looked over at Luke, squinting as she tried to read his lips. He was a nervous talker, and it was starting to show. “I’m Luke and this is Nix. We-we’ve been out there for a while. We didn’t – we just came across the signs for Jones Springs and thought we could follow them, see where it led us, which ended up being here,”

Luke continued to talk, no doubt starting to ramble. Nix turned her attention to the people atop the wall. They were men, white, and had guns. They looked like the type of people Merle had told her to avoid when she was younger. _“Privileged fuckers, ya hear me? Ain’t worth the shit on yer shoes.”_

Nix felt like she was out of her depth. She was a fucking kid, and there she was, remembering everything her father and her crazy uncle had told her about the world. People were dangerous, and there were no laws anymore. She looked like she was weak, and she knew that, knew that she could be taken advantage of. But she was a goddamn Dixon, and she had been isolated from people for a year. She was capable. She had to believe in herself, and she did.

After a few long minutes where the guards on the wall talked to each other, giving each other a sort of side-eye, they called down to someone at the bottom of the gates, and the gates of Jones Springs opened.

Another white man appeared, and he smiled at Nix in a way that made her want to claw his eyes out. He took their car into the safety of the walls, and Luke led her inside, keeping an arm around her shoulders.

‘We have to meet their leader,’ he told her, signs slow, needing more practice. ‘They’re going to take our weapons.’

Nix didn’t like the idea of someone keeping her weapons, of leaving her defenceless in a new place, with more faces than what she was used to. Still, she looked at Luke and nodded. She knew they were lucky that they had even found the place to begin with. Maybe it would be worth it.

* * *

Luke did the talking for the two of them again. They were sat together, opposite the leader. The leader was a woman named Erika, and she had a look about her that said she wasn’t one to mess around with. It gave Nix a little bit of hope that things would be OK at Jones Springs. Nix still waited for the other shoe to drop.

Luke explained that they had met up after losing both of their prior groups, had come together and helped each other. He explained to Erika that Nix couldn’t hear but didn’t let it stop her or weaken her. Erika had taken a note of it in a notebook of hers at her desk. Nix wanted to know what was in that notebook, what could be in there; all the people she had to have written about, all the people with significant strengths and weaknesses.

Nix felt like she had to play along, pretend to be what the adults expected of her. They didn’t know about the knife she had hidden away in her bra. She couldn’t let them take all of her weapons. She didn’t trust them, had grown up not trusting people. She didn’t know what to do in this place. She had to watch and figure out what the people would want and expect from her.

She was just a kid, but she was observant. She wasn’t going to let them manipulate her.

Erika was all smiles and nods and soon let them go. More people came and led them to a small apartment. It had been set up for them whilst they had been interviewed by Erika. The men that brought them said something to Luke, who seemed intimidated by it before he nodded, and they left the two in relative peace.

‘What’s wrong?’ Nix asked, jerking her head towards the door the men had left through.

Luke looked like he was trying to find the right words. ‘They don’t like that you’re deaf. You’re my responsibility. They have other people here who are deaf, but those men don’t seem right.’

Nix nodded, glancing back at the door before turning her attention back onto him. ‘I don’t trust them. Something isn’t right.’ She crossed her arms over her chest, feeling like she was older than she actually was.

Her mind went back to her father, and she held onto herself a little more tightly, missing his face, how he would sign to her, the way he could make her feel safe and comforted. She was just a kid.

‘We have a working bathroom, go and take a shower,’ Luke signed to her when he got her attention again.

‘OK, and then you have a shower; you stink,’

Luke smiled at her, maybe huffing a laugh, and ruffled her dirty hair before he pushed her on in the direction of the bathroom.

* * *

Nix felt refreshed from the shower. She couldn’t recall the last time that she had had a proper shower that wasn’t a bucket and wet wipes and suspected it had to have been when she had been at the farm. Thinking of the farm made her stomach turn uncomfortably as she thought about the people she used to be with. She missed Carl and Sophia, her father, and Rick and the others, hell, she even missed Shane.

When she had been in the bathroom, drip drying, she had caught a glimpse of herself in the clean mirror. It made her realise that she wasn’t quite a kid anymore. She’d forgotten about her birthday, and that she’d surpassed two of them already when the winter months had passed. She was now fourteen. That didn’t sound much like a kid anymore. With the long months spent with Luke, she was now going to be nearing her fifteenth birthday when the weather would start to turn colder again. She wished she could’ve spent those birthdays with her father, her family.

She guessed there was only so long before she couldn’t pretend to be a small child anymore. In some ways, she didn’t fit the image description anymore.

Now fully dry and in a fresh set of pyjamas, she and Luke stayed up that night. They took turns taking watch; neither of them trusted the people at Jones Springs, and they didn’t know how trustworthy the people would be. They already seemed apprehensive of Nix just because of her lack of hearing, like she would be a problem. It probably didn’t help that Luke wasn’t a skinny man, and people would judge the two of them before getting to know them.

But Nix and Luke worked well together and knew each other well enough. They would do what was best for each other.

The first night felt like their usual nights; taking turns sleeping, taking turns keeping watch. They didn’t keep a candle lit. They would keep watch at the windowsill, looking through the blinds in their apartment to look down at the streets below. It seemed alright, but Nix was far too aware of how looks could be deceiving. She knew she didn’t look like one to have spent a year alone in the apocalypse.

It still sometimes shocked her that she had managed that feat. Sometimes she thought she’d wake up to be torn apart by the dead as the real reality would set in. She didn’t hope for that day to become real.

Knowing that she had survived on her own, at such a young age too, it made her feel strong and confident in herself. Nix had done what most other kids her age would’ve failed at – surviving alone. She guessed she had to be thankful of the way she had been brought up, of her father’s guidance, the way he taught her how to hunt animals, how to track them and how to skin them. To be thankful of how Merle taught her things her father didn’t want her knowing. Maybe she had been too young to know them then, but in the world that she had been thrown into… it made her glad Merle had taught her such things.

She missed her father and her uncle. She hoped that they were alive. They had to be because nothing could kill a Dixon but a Dixon.

The sun began to rise, and Nix woke Luke up. They had a brand-new day in their new community. It was going to be eventful.

Erika came to their door, greeting them and wishing them well. Nix tried to learn to read the way she moved her mouth, but Nix could tell that Erika was trying to exaggerate her words. Exaggeration made it harder for Nix to understand, and she gave up, looking to Luke who looked a little uncomfortable.

“We’re glad to be here. We want to do our part in the community – I used to be a teacher,” he said, signing the word teacher, and Erika frowned at the action. “I would love to teach the kids here, alongside Nix.”

Nix glanced out of the corner of her eye to see Erika was side-eyeing her. So Erika probably didn’t like her. That didn’t give Nix much confidence for Jones Springs if their leader disliked kids. The old world hadn’t been kind to people who were disabled, and Nix knew this world would be even worse.

“What about the girl?” Erika asked clearly.

“Nix won’t be a problem, if that’s what you’re asking,” Luke said, looking over at Nix, a smile on his face. “She’s good.”

Erika nodded, though it didn’t get rid of the suspicious look on her face. Erika said something else, and Luke nodded, telling her that they’d join her shortly before Erika left, shutting the door behind her.

Luke turned to look at Nix. ‘Do you have your knife?’ he asked, not talking aloud. Nix frowned at him but nodded. ‘Good. We have to go for community breakfast.’

Nix raised an eyebrow at him. ‘Community breakfast?’ she signed, and he nodded, amused at the look on her face. ‘Let’s meet the people.’

The people of Jones Springs were … apprehensive. Nix knew that she and Luke weren’t the most dangerous people, appearance wise, though she had long since learned that appearances could be deceiving. She didn’t know the people of Jones Springs and didn’t know how dangerous they could truly be. They didn’t know how dangerous she could become if the need became a reality.

The people were a little odd towards Nix when each individual found out she was deaf. It was something that reminded Nix of the time before the end of the world, when people didn’t know how to act towards her, how to talk to her. She was glad that she had taught Luke some sign language, just so that he could try and be the translator for them.

Jones Springs set Nix’s teeth on edge. She couldn’t pinpoint it, but it made her feel uneasy in her own skin. It was like something about the people was off, like they were almost alien in a sense.

‘Can you see what I see?’ Nix asked Luke in their third night in Jones Springs.

‘The people are … weird,’ Luke signed to her, a frown on his face as he contemplated how to describe it. ‘Maybe it’s because we’re new here,’ he signed, trying to brush it off. Nix raised an eyebrow at him over their bowls of chicken soup.

‘I know that they’re weird. It’s hard not to see it. Cult?’

Luke pressed his lips together, eyebrows pulled close. ‘Cult? Maybe,’

Nix ate some soup, and the warmth of it filled her up. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d had food so good. If Jones Springs was full of suspicious people, they were mighty good at cooking.

‘You mentioned they don’t like that I’m deaf, how I’m now your responsibility. But there are other deaf people here. The men don’t seem right. They could … try and take advantage of my deafness and how I have to rely on you.’

Luke gave her a soft look. ‘You don’t rely on me; I’m always relying on your smart little head,’ he signed, and Nix rolled her eyes at him, but there was a small smile on her face. ‘We rely on each other and help each other. We’ll be OK.’

* * *

Nix met Connie and Kelly. They were sisters, women of colour, and Connie was deaf whilst her younger sister was able to hear and translate for her. Maybe because Connie and Nix were deaf, it helped their friendship and allowed Nix to put her trust in Connie wholeheartedly.

‘I like your hair,’ Nix signed to Connie, who smiled at the compliment, returning one to Nix. Connie was nice, and was maybe around Luke’s age, possibly a few years older than him. Kelly was a few years older than Nix, and she had been in high school when the end of the world had happened. Nix had been in middle school.

Kelly had attached herself to Nix by their hips, and they spent a lot of time together. It helped to have someone around her age, and to have an older, deaf mentor too. To have others around Nix that knew how to talk to her made her feel safe and acknowledged. A lot of the time around hearing people, most of whom were ignorant, they left her without context to conversations or their surroundings. With Connie and Kelly, it made it easier to talk to others and feel included.

The sisters didn’t trust Jones Springs though. There was something about the community that kept them all on edge. Connie and Kelly had agreed with Nix and Luke that there was something fishy going on in Jones Springs, but none of them could prove it.

They stayed at Jones Springs, despite how uneasy it left them. They watched as people joined the community, eyes full of wonder and amazement, hopeful for what the community could offer them.

Luke taught the kids alongside some other adults that had been teachers before the apocalypse. Nix had never gotten such a good education before the end of the world. She found it funny that it took the apocalypse to happen before she could get a fulfilling education. Luke was the easiest teacher to learn from; he had gotten better at sign, talking to the hearing students and signing so that Nix could understand. Kelly sat by her side, both of them learning quickly under Luke’s hand.

Luke had also found a piano; he had gotten it from one of the other teachers who didn’t know how to play it, and he had decided to try and teach Nix how to play the piano. She tried her best, slowly learning how her fingers could move over the keys, the seven different scales: Lydian, Mixolydian, Aeolian, Locrian, Ionian, Dorian and Phrygian. They were all confusing to her, but Nix managed to follow along with what Luke signed to her, explaining what each mode meant, how the scales were different. It was all hard work, and it took up a lot of Nix’s time. She did her best, and Luke often praised her for it, and it made Nix feel good about what she was capable of.

She supposed the music taking up her time was why Luke taught her; it kept her busy and kept her learning something. She did enjoy learning, and it let her hands do something else other than sign. She appreciated the task of learning how to play the piano; she practised every day.

People seemed surprised to see Nix in the older classes; as a young deaf girl, she knew that her appearance would be misleading, that people would make presumptions about her before getting to know her. Nix figured she could use those presumptions to her advantage for as long as she could. She wanted to learn and understand as much as she could before she went back out into that world again. She had been alone in it for one year, she guessed that she deserved some time off from the apocalypse.

She missed her dad, and she missed her uncle. She thought about them every day and wondered how they would’ve taken to living in Jones Springs.

Connie was sat beside her; school had finished for the day and Kelly had raced out of the building, eager to get home and get some food. Connie had barely managed to sign her greetings to her sister before Kelly had made her way past her, raiding the cupboards. Connie laughed at her sister and invited Nix in.

‘How was school today?’ Connie asked Nix, ignoring her sister who had stuck her fingers into a jar of peanut butter.

‘It was alright. The other kids always look at me weird, but I’ve gotten used to it.’

Connie nodded, the look on her face telling Nix that she knew all about the weird looks. ‘You’ll be OK. They’ll learn to stop staring at you like that.’

Nix didn’t quite believe her. ‘Adults still look at me like they do. Erika does whenever she sees me.’ She shrugged a shoulder, then glanced at Kelly, who was minding her own business, searching for more food now that the peanut butter jar was mostly empty. ‘Your sister is going to eat you out of house and home.’

Connie turned her attention onto Kelly, chastising her. Kelly raised an eyebrow at her, defending herself before she made a rude gesture to Connie.

It was nice to see the two sisters interact, and Nix wondered what it was like to have siblings. She’d grown up seeing her father and uncle interact, and they were drastically different to Connie and Kelly. But seeing the sisters interact and _include_ Nix in the things they did, it made Nix feel wanted and loved. She knew her father and Merle cared for her, but it was a different type of care. Nix didn’t want to lose Connie or Kelly.

* * *

Nix and Luke had moved into a new apartment with Connie and Kelly. They all felt safer together. Nix and Kelly shared a room whilst Luke and Connie had their own separated bedrooms. Nix had seen the people staring at them as they all moved in together. Nix knew that there would be whispers about Luke and Connie, how people would make presumptions about them. They had also brought the piano along, and Nix and Luke would play together for Kelly and Connie. Though it was only Kelly who could hear, it was impressive to the sisters how Nix and Luke could play together. Nix had picked up the skill well enough that she could play some things moderately confidently. Luke told her she was a smart student who managed to pick things up.

Living with Connie and Kelly made the apartment feel livelier than before, and it was nice to wake up with someone else in the bedroom, to see other women. Nix could remember the awkward moments when she had gotten her period by surprise, and Luke had done his best to help, but was just that little bit too awkward to deal with it. Nix knew that her father and uncle would’ve been worse, so she supposed Luke’s awkward kindness was a good substitute. Now, he was steadily getting used to the idea of periods, especially since he lived with three people who got them at different points in the month. Nix’s period had yet to stabilise itself and happen on a regular basis. Connie had assured her it was normal for it to act like that until into adulthood.

‘How did you and Luke meet?’ Kelly asked Nix. They were sat up in their beds, staying up past their bedtime.

‘I saw him get chased by walkers. He fought them and once they were dead, he passed out. I brought him back into the house I’d been staying in. We … had a few trials and errors with sign, but he’s been good.’

‘When was this?’

Nix frowned, trying to get the months right. ‘A year and a few months after everything fell. I’d been with my dad at the start.’

Kelly nodded, a look in her eyes as Nix mentioned her father. Connie and Kelly had presumed Luke to be her father, and the two had been quick to correct the sisters. ‘Go on,’ Kelly signed.

Nix shrugged, looking away for a moment. ‘We were outside of Atlanta at first. Other people joined us. Then that camp was overrun, and we had to leave. We went to the CDC, but then the doctor there almost killed us when he blew it up,’ Nix paused when she saw Kelly’s jaw drop at the information. ‘Yeah, the CDC isn’t there anymore. Anyway, we moved on and tried to leave but then me and my friend, Sophia, were chased by walkers when a herd of them came through. We’d been hiding underneath the cars, but Sophia thought it was safe when it wasn’t. We ran for ages until Rick, our leader, found us and hid us while he took care of the walkers. We tried to make our way back to the highway we’d been on, but then something scared Sophia. We met a man, and he took us to his farm.’

Kelly’s eyebrows had risen throughout Nix’s story. ‘What happened on the farm?’

‘A lot. It belonged to a man named Hershel. He got his daughter, Maggie, to search for our families, but she couldn’t find them on the highway. Rick appeared on the farm with his son. Carl had been shot by the man who had found us. Rick saw us there, and soon after my dad and Sophia’s mom found us. It was alright on the farm, but when winter started to set, a lot of walkers overran the farm. A few walkers attacked me, and one fell on me. The others must have thought it killed me because they weren’t at our rendezvous. I was alone until I met Luke.’

‘You’d been left alone?’ Kelly asked. Nix nodded, and then looked away. She hadn’t really spoken to Luke about just how much she missed her father, how much it had hurt to know that they had presumed her dead and hadn’t waited for her. Nix’s eyes were wet from tears, and she pressed her hands over her eyes.

Kelly sat on the bed with her, and wrapped an arm around her, giving her quiet comfort. Nix held onto Kelly tightly, sniffling and gasping for breath as she cried. Kelly let her cry into her shoulder.

The next morning, Connie entered their shared bedroom to see the two girls asleep together, arms around each other as they slept on in peace. She hadn’t woken them up, knowing they had to have been up until the late hours of the morning.

* * *

One of the guards made Nix more uncomfortable than the others. He was always there whenever she left school or went to it. He was there on the corners of streets, eyes always on her. Nix hated walking alone now, scared of what the man might try if she was spotted alone. She kept her knife on her, hidden in her bra. She had yet to feel safe enough to walk the streets of Jones Springs without it. The man was stalking her. She didn’t know how else to explain it. He was _always_ there. It creeped her out and had the hairs on her arms stand up, just thinking about it.

When she returned to the apartment, Kelly and Luke were already there.

‘One of the guards is stalking me,’ she signed to them, sitting down at the table they were sat at. They looked at her in surprise when they saw what she had signed.

‘Are you sure?’ Luke asked, worry lining his face.

Nix nodded. ‘I see him all the time. He’s always there, whenever I look around. He’s not guarding the walls, he’s watching _me_ ,’

‘OK. I can talk to Erika about it, see what we can do about this man,’ Luke said, and Nix nodded, relieved that he believed her so easily.

‘Does he do anything to you?’

Nix shook her head. ‘He just watches me. He’s always there, no matter what. He always … looks me in the eye when I spot him.’

Kelly clenched her jaw, getting to her feet. ‘I’ll keep you company; we can get him to leave you alone.’ She put a hand on Nix’s shoulder. ‘Promise,’ she signed with her other hand.

‘Thanks,’

When Connie returned home, they informed her of Nix’s stalker, and Connie became furious that someone would do that and frighten Nix in that type of way. Kelly told Nix about Connie’s job before the end of the world; she had been a journalist and had managed to put several people behind bars. Nix wondered if she would somehow be able to uncover dirt on the man who was stalking her, and provide the proof to Erika, who would hopefully make the man leave Nix alone, or leave Jones Springs entirely.

Luke and Connie asked for a meeting with Erika. As the sole leader, with no council, all decisions were made by Erika. She was a busy woman, as people constantly sought her out for her consent for things such as buildings to be made, scouting runs to be organised. Luke and Connie’s meeting took several weeks to take place.

During the weeks of waiting to see Erika, Nix saw the man everywhere she went. She barely left her apartment alone. Someone was always by her side, and it was Kelly who was most often beside her, walking with her to and from school, joining her on her jogs around Jones Springs. Luke and Connie kept her company when they weren’t working, but they couldn’t do anything about the stalker.

Kelly had proved herself to be a bit of an artist. She had drawn up a sketch of the man when she had spotted him enough times to memorise his face. Nix had agreed that Kelly had done a good job in getting his features right, able to tell him apart from another man.

Nix wondered what her father would do if he had been there, found out that Nix had a stalker that had to be the same age as Daryl. She wondered if he would’ve fought with the man or beat him or just outright killed him for scaring Nix. She missed her father, and she wondered where he was, if he was alive or not.

The weather started to bite into their skin, turning cold. Nix turned fifteen.

The four of them had had a small celebration of her birthday, getting small gifts – a woman made knives, and Luke had exchanged some fruit and vegetables for a knife to gift to Nix. Connie had found her some roughened copies of Harry Potter, and Kelly had made them both friendship bracelets. It had been more than Nix had ever expected from them, and it had warmed her heart to see that they cared enough about her to go out of their way to find gifts for them.

They waited out the long weeks until it was time for the meeting. During those weeks, things had advanced with the stalker; he shoved letters through the gap between the door and the floor, leaving letters for Nix or the others to find, addressed to her. Most of the letters were full of obsessed nonsense, and it terrified the life out of Nix. Then came the drawings. They were crude and disgusting, and it made Nix feel physically ill. Yet Erika didn’t budge, wouldn’t bump up the meeting to a closer date, so they had to wait. Kelly stayed with Nix in their apartment when Connie and Luke had to leave for the meeting. Nix hoped that something would be done about the stalking. It was making her scared to go outside.

Nix looked out of the window, peeking through the blinds. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw the man standing against a lamppost on the opposing street. She looked to Kelly, who came to stand beside her, spotting the man down on the street.

“Bastard,” she said, and Nix nodded her head in agreement.

‘He knows it’s just us,’ Nix signed to her, worry filling her up, drowning her. ‘What if he decides to do something?’

‘He hasn’t done anything yet. We wait for the aftermath of this meeting, and see where that leaves us,’ Kelly signed, trying to reassure Nix. ‘Whatever happens, we’re going to be there for you.’ Kelly smiled at Nix; a kind look in her eyes. ‘We’ve got this.’

Nix nodded and turned her attention back onto the street. Her heart beat hard in her chest, and she wondered if the man could see them from where he stood. She didn’t even know the man’s name, but she was scared of him. What were they supposed to do about this man? Nix didn’t know how this could end well; stalkers had been dangerous when the world wasn’t full of walkers. What would Erika do about the situation?

Nix was too scared to let the man out of her sight. He knew which apartment she lived in, knew where she went to school with Kelly. Nix didn’t know what to do about the man, and she knew that the others were at a loss as to what they could do to stop the man. They had to endure it, know that he would be there, wherever Nix went.

The day dragged on and on, and the two teens waited for Luke and Connie to return, to inform them of what Erika had to say about the situation.

The door to the apartment opened, and Nix looked around to see Luke and Connie enter, followed by Erika herself. Nix’s stomach tied itself into knots. This couldn’t be good.

‘She wanted to talk to you,’ Connie signed to Nix, a furious look on her face.

‘What’s wrong?’ she asked, deciding to bite the bullet. Connie rarely got angry and seeing her so infuriated scared Nix.

‘You should sit down,’ Luke told her, a sad look in his eyes. Nix looked at the two for a moment before she walked over to the table and sat down. Erika sat in the chair opposite her. There was something in Erika’s face, hidden anger, masked by a poor façade of calm. Was Erika _angry_ at Nix?

Nix clenched her jaw as she put her hands on the table, clasped together tightly as she looked at Erika, waiting for the woman to start talking, to no doubt exaggerate her words and mouth movements, so that Kelly and Luke had to translate for Nix to understand what was going on.

“Your friend drew a picture of my husband,” Erika started, words a little slow, but Nix managed to read them off Erika’s lips. Kelly was quick to sign along, confirming what Nix thought she said. Erika glanced back at Kelly, displeased.

‘She drew a picture of your husband?’ Nix asked, frowning before the words clicked into place. ‘Your _husband_ is stalking me?’

Luke spoke for Nix, and Nix saw the disgust in Erika’s face at the words.

“My husband would not sink low enough to stalk a _child_ ,” Erika said, and Nix felt her blood boil. “My husband is faithful and would never tarnish our names in such a way. We have been here in Jones Springs from the start, built the walls that protect you all. We gave you the food you eat, the heating in your home, the clothes on your back. My husband is a busy man, guarding the wall, protecting our people.” Kelly was quick to translate the words, but she was having a hard time controlling her expressions as she got angrier and angrier with Erika and what she said.

‘You’re a bitch.’ Nix signed to her. Nix didn’t like the possible outcomes of this conversation, knowing that it wouldn’t be good that Erika would let her husband get away with this.

“Nix isn’t happy,” Luke said instead. “She knows it’s your husband stalking her.”

Erika turned to talk to Luke, spitting the words from her mouth that Nix couldn’t see. Kelly’s jaw dropped at whatever Erika said, and Nix was too scared to ask what the woman could have said.

‘She called you a … lying whore and that Luke should be careful of what he says because he’s not your father,’ Kelly signed, uncomfortable. ‘She implied he’s a paedophile.’

‘What the fuck?’ Nix glared at Erika, then slammed her fist onto the table. Erika jumped, then turned around to look at Nix. ‘You’re a vile woman who will see this place fall. Your husband is a creep, and you will turn a blind eye because you live in a fantasy world that will kill your people. Get out of my home.’

Erika waited for the translation, but no-one told her.

“You should leave.” Kelly said. Erika got to her feet, dusting herself off before she walked out of their apartment with her head held high.

‘I’m sorry, Nix,’ Luke signed to her.

‘It’s not your fault,’ she signed, then wiped at her face, pressed her palms into her eyes as she tried to compose herself. ‘Crazy woman.’


	5. Stalker

Nix hated Jones Springs. The place terrified her, and the leader hated her. The leader’s husband fucking stalked her every damn day. What was she supposed to do? She kept a knife on her at all times and stayed beside someone whenever she left her apartment. She felt like more of an outcast in Jones Springs than ever before, but she didn’t know what she could do about it.

She had to endure it.

Now that Nix knew just how bad things were when it came to Erika and her leadership skills, she started to notice the cracks in the structure. She started to notice the other guards doing an improper job on the walls, how fights could start easily in the streets. Violence was met with violence. Nothing stopped the chaos. There were quiet moments, where Nix thought that maybe things could calm down and Erika would step up and be the leader that she was pretending to be, but then someone she knew would betray their rules and would avoid a penalty. The civilians would turn and raise their voices and object, but Erika enforced the laws she made upon them.

Nix hated Jones Springs. They had given it a chance, and it hadn’t been what they thought it would be. So much for a promising visual.

‘We should leave,’ Nix signed to Luke. Connie and Kelly had gone to bed early that night, so it was just Nix and Luke awake. It almost felt like what it used to, before they met the sisters, before they found Jones Springs. It was almost like their house when they had first met each other, the weather cold, but this time around they had warm hot chocolate in their hands and not cans of peaches. Nix did like spending time with Luke, having quality time with her friend.

‘I know. Where would we go?’

Nix shrugged. ‘Further up north. To the ocean. Maybe both.’ She sipped at her hot chocolate, glancing towards the window. ‘Do you think he’s out there, waiting for me?’

‘I think it’s best not to think about it.’ Luke signed, but Nix could see the unease in his face, how they were both certain the man would still be out there, waiting across the street, eyes on their apartment. It unnerved Nix that she didn’t know the man’s name, that she didn’t know who he was, and yet he knew her enough to become fixated on her. She was worried that the man would take things too far, would put her in danger, along with her friends.

Luke, Connie and Kelly were her family. They had become close enough to see each other like that, and Nix was glad she had people to call family with her. She had lost her first family, and nothing could replace Daryl or Merle, but she had learned to love Luke, Connie and Kelly as family.

‘Finish your drink then get to bed,’ Luke signed, and Nix nodded, ignoring the way it reminded her of her father. She missed her father, and it left her heart aching something awful.

Nix was quick to finish up her drink, and Luke took the mug from her before sending her off to bed. She was tense as she laid down in bed, unable to close her eyes and relax into sleep. She wanted to find out information on her stalker, why he had decided she had been the one worth stalking, why he had managed to slip through everything. Nix forced herself to shut her eyes, but she held her covers close to her, a meek defence if the man ever came into her room, but it eased her enough to fall into an uneasy sleep.

* * *

Nix needed to get food. They had been running low in the apartment, and Nix knew they needed to get some more vegetables and meat. She felt nervous as she walked through the streets of Jones Springs, unaccompanied. It would just be a quick walk, she would go into the market, find the right stalls and trade for what was needed. Then she’d go home, lock the doors, and wait for the others to return. It was as simple as that. How could it go wrong?

Still, she kept looking around her immediate surroundings, in case she saw the man while she was alone. If he found out that she didn’t have anyone with her, then he’d assume he could get some alone time with her. It made Nix feel sick that she had to think about those kinds of things, to almost expect them to happen, that she would have to try and defend herself against a man whose sole role was to protect the people of Jones Springs. Her stomach churned uncomfortably, and her mouth ran dry as she entered the crowd of people. She was around people; that meant she was safe for the time being.

They talked and interacted with each other, ignoring Nix as she made her way between them. It was easy to slip through the crowd; people ignored her in favour of talking to each other, laughing and bonding together in a way that Nix couldn’t. She had long since gotten used to that and didn’t mind it as much as she used to when she was younger. It had hurt more when she had been young and impressionable, often hurt by the hearing and their ignorance of her.

She got to the vegetable stalls, and the people recognised her and pulled out a small whiteboard and pen so that she could write what she wanted from them. They had long since gotten used to seeing her come for the supplies and had figured out a way for her to communicate with them. They read over her notes before they started to collect them from the boxes, passing them to her, and she put them in her bag. They wrote down what they wanted in trade, and Nix pulled out the books and perfume that had been requested from her. She thanked them, and they returned the sign before she left to find the meat market.

The vegetable and fruit market was bustling, a large crowd as people finished work for the day. Nix had to push her way through the crowd, uncomfortable with the sheer amount of people there. Did they not understand personal space? It made her uncomfortable, and she wondered if it would’ve been best if she had waited for Luke or Connie or even Kelly to return to their apartment before she went to trade for food.

Nix managed to get to the meat stalls. They were inside a cool, air-conditioned building, more to keep the meat fresher for longer than to keep the people cool. There were fewer people in the meat market, and it allowed Nix to breathe for a moment, screw her head back on and calm her down. She set off walking, moving further into the meat market, trying to find what she and the others wanted.

There weren’t that many stalls in the meat market; the cattle of Jones Springs was minimal, and they relied on fishing far too much. Nix wondered if they knew to move their fishing areas around, so that fish would return to certain spots or not. With Erika in charge, she didn’t find it likely. Nix figured she could be a better leader than Erika, and she didn’t know the first thing about leading. It reminded her of Rick Grimes, and she pushed the memories of him and his family to the back of her mind. She could think about Rick and the others later.

Nix traded a few vegetables for some fish, some chocolate and fruit for some chicken. It was easy to learn the trade, what people wanted in return for their products. Nix had proved to be better at trade than Luke, and he had let her sort it out, not wanting to disrupt her and her method.

**_What’s Erika’s husband called?_ **

The lady at the stall paused in surprise as she read over Nix’s question. “He’s called Silas. Why?” she asked as she handed over the meat.

**_Nothing. Curious._ **

With a quick sign of thanks to the person manning the stall, Nix set off back to her apartment.

The crowd was still out there in the market, and it was only getting busier. She came to a stop, contemplating it before she decided to go the long way around. It meant quieter streets, but she wouldn’t have to try and force her way through the crowd. It meant she wouldn’t end up crushing the food into mush as she made her way through the ever-growing crowd of people. Something about the sheer amount of people there reminded her of herds of walkers, and she didn’t want to think about the walkers, didn’t want to think of the people in that way.

Nix didn’t like how sheltered she had become; she hadn’t killed a walker in months, and she couldn’t go out beyond the walls; only scouts, guards and fishermen were allowed to venture off into the dead world, and something about that didn’t seem right, didn’t sit right with Nix. Nix wanted to come and go as she pleased; she had learned how to hunt, and yet her skills were being wasted. She knew this meant that Jones Springs would fall, and her only concern was _when_ that would happen.

Nix didn’t want to become weak, to forget what it was like to be out there. Her year alone had proved to her that she was capable, but her potential was being wasted as she grew older inside the walls. She couldn’t let herself become weak, become a liability. She wouldn’t let that happen.

She continued to walk down deserted streets. Everyone had to be in the market, trying to get the best deals possible. Little did they know that just before they crowded the stalls, the trading worked best. Nix glanced around and saw a man following her. Her heart leapt into her throat when she recognised him – it was Silas, Erika’s husband. Now Nix had a name to his face. She turned her eyes away from him and slowly picked up her pace, trying to do so discreetly before she would start to sprint away from him.

She knew she shouldn’t have gone down the empty streets alone; she appeared vulnerable, and her damn stalker would do whatever he could to her now that he knew she was alone. She figured he had spotted her walking away from the crowd and had abandoned his post in favour of following her. Silas would be able to hear the crowds, know how far away people were, therefore knowing when to push his luck. He would be able to make a move on her, and she wouldn’t know if anyone was nearby to hear her try and scream for help.

Glancing back again, she saw that Silas had gotten closer.

It set her heart into an erratic beat, thoughts racing through her mind as she tried to prepare herself for whatever would happen next. _“You scare those men who try an’ hurt you. Ain’ no reason a lil girl like you can’t break a man’s arm.”_ She could remember Merle, telling her all the things she could do to defend herself, what to do to a man if the situation ever called for it. He had been looking out for her when the end of the world had happened, telling her all the nasty things a person was capable of, and let her know that she would have to do some bad to make sure she lived to see another day.

Her father hadn’t been pleased when he’d caught Merle talking to her like that, but then he’d taken Merle’s place, and had been kinder when he told her that men could be awful to little girls like her, and she had to be careful and know how to defend herself if a man ever tried to a lay a hand on her. He just never had the chance to teach her how to properly defend herself against a man. Now that proved dangerous for her current situation.

Silas had gotten closer again.

Nix ran.

She didn’t get far; Silas grabbed Nix, and she dropped the food, opening her mouth to try and scream as she kicked and hit the man, trying to break free of his hold on her.

Silas yanked her close to him, a sweaty hand going over her mouth, his other arm holding her around her middle. He hoisted her up, and her feet left the ground. Nix kicked at his shins and knees, trying to do as much damage as she could as he pulled her down an alleyway. Her feet pounded into his legs and knees, and she wanted to break the bones there. She punched him and tried to scratch at his face, to catch the skin under her nails and make him bleed. Panic set in, and she tried to pull herself out of his grip, shaking back and forth, from side to side, writhing in his grip, trying to loosen herself from his hold. He lost his grip on her and she fell to the ground, hands scraping on the concrete.

For a second, neither of them could believe she had gotten free of him so quickly.

Nix looked around, and Silas was already moving. She looked ahead of her and tried to make a run for it, but he grabbed her, and she fell again, face hitting the ground hard. She kicked at his hands, trying to get his hands off her legs. Her breathing was erratic, and she was doing her damndest to get the hell away from him. She tried screaming again, panic seeping into her bones as he dragged her back, then pinned her down on the floor.

Silas’ hand was on her head, his other on her back, pinning her where she was. She couldn’t move, but she kept trying, despite how the situation didn’t bode well for her. Nix tried to kick up at him as he turned her around, crawling on top of her, twisting her around so she was on her back. Her hand went under her t-shirt and grabbed the knife as the man tried to unbuckle her belt. She pulled the knife out and then slashed at his face, feeling sick to her stomach as she felt the knife collide with the skin, cutting through it like butter. She waved the knife again, gasping for breath as she watched Silas curse, a hand on his face as the cut bled.

There was a shadow above her as Silas looked up, and Nix saw the horror in his face.

A woman was there, and she was quick to plant her knee in the man’s chest, a knife of her own in her hand as the man landed on the floor. She kneeled over him as she started to beat him, and then another woman was there, kneeling beside Nix, a hand coming to rest on her back, the other on her face to try and get Nix to look away from the woman beating Silas, but Nix was too scared to look away from him. The first woman was white, with curly, frizzy hair, and the second lady was Asian with long black hair and sharp cheekbones. The Asian woman turned Nix’s head to her, tearing Nix’s gaze from Silas.

‘Help me, please,’ Nix signed, and only just realised that there were tears dripping down her face. She had been fuelled by panic and fear, too consumed by it to realise she had started crying at some point during the fight. She gestured to her ears and shook her head. The woman nodded, hopefully understanding what Nix meant, and helped Nix to her feet, keeping her close as the first woman stood over the man, talking down to him. Nix couldn’t see the woman’s lips, couldn’t understand what she said, but Nix hoped it scared Silas to his core. The woman brandished the knife at the man, kneeling down to say something to him before she stood back up, sheathing her weapon.

Nix looked at the pathetic man and saw his face was busted and bloody. He was sobbing, hands going over his face as he curled in on himself. The woman turned away from him and looked to Nix.

“Did he hurt you?” Nix managed to read off her lips. There was a serious look on her face, and Nix didn’t want to think about how serious the situation could’ve been – how serious it was.

‘He almost did, but you saved me.’

The two women shared a look before they pulled Nix away from the man, leaving him there in the alleyway to rot. The white woman grabbed Nix’s bag of food as they went.

* * *

The two women had taken Nix back to her apartment, where Connie and Kelly were, having returned from their duties. They had been smiling one moment, and then the next they were serious, smiles vanishing when they saw the state Nix was in.

Kelly took control, translating for both parties as the white woman sat Nix down, keeping an arm around her as Connie grabbed their first aid kit, tending to the scrapes on Nix’s hands, the cuts on her face. Nix could feel her hands shaking, the tremors that tried to take hold of her body. The two women were named Yumiko and Magna. They had arrived at Jones Springs not too long ago. They’d seen Nix and her friends around a few times but hadn’t known that Nix and Connie were deaf.

Connie had a sombre look on her face as she looked up at Nix from where she knelt in front of her. ‘Did he try to rape you?’

Nix paused for a moment before she nodded as the horror of reality started to set in. ‘He dragged me into the alley and tried to kidnap me. He tried to grab my pants.’ Connie took hold of Nix’s hands when they started to shake. Kelly translated for Magna and Yumiko. Magna’s arm around her felt like a comfort, and her hold tightened when Kelly told them what Nix had signed.

‘I had a knife on me,’ Nix said, pulling her hands from Connie’s so she could tell her. ‘I’ve had it on me since I first got here. I didn’t trust this place enough. It came in handy.’

‘You were right to keep a knife on you. There are dangerous people, and you have to protect yourself. Don’t feel guilty over that.’ Connie signed to her. There was a look in Connie’s eyes, an anger to them that Nix hadn’t ever seen before.

Magna caught her attention. ‘You’ll be OK,’ she signed slowly. Nix shrugged a shoulder at her before she leaned into her side. She felt exhausted, the fear and adrenaline fading, and the fatigue took place, trying to get a hold of her.

‘What do you want us to do?’

Nix shrugged at Connie, eyes stinging from tears. ‘What can we do? He’s Erika’s husband! He’ll get away with it. He’ll even get away with killing me.’ Nix couldn’t see a way out of this situation that she found herself in.

‘Don’t talk like that. We can figure something out,’ Connie looked to Kelly, who nodded.

‘We can leave if that means keeping you safe,’ Kelly told her, and it made Nix cry, knowing that they’d risk going out there if it meant Nix would be further from the stalker, safer in a way that she could be in Jones Springs.

When Luke returned, Connie informed him of what happened. He had come and sat beside Nix, all calm and collected even though she knew he wanted nothing more than to storm into Erika’s office and tell her what her husband had tried to do; to go after that husband and give him a piece of his mind and to let Silas’ face get familiar with his fists. But he stayed by her side, offering comfort only he could provide.

Nix wanted Daryl and Merle there. She knew what they’d do. She would sit by her father as he would comfort her, and then her uncle Merle would leave, only to return with blood on his knuckles, and a promise that Silas wouldn’t hurt her ever again. They’d be kicked out of Jones Springs, but the three of them would be together, and some filth would be gone from the world. But that wasn’t her reality. She was without her father and uncle, having presumed that they may have died now. How lucky could they be to survive so long?

Nix had to face reality; a man had tried to assault her, and she feared that if Magna and Yumiko hadn’t come to the rescue, that the man would have succeeded. But instead, she was surrounded by people who cared and wanted nothing more than to see justice happen. Nix didn’t know what to do, and something in the back of her mind told her that it was trauma messing with her head, the fear of what could have happened, the fear of what _had_ happened.

The man had managed to catch her off guard and alone, and he’d taken advantage of it, had tried to take advantage of _her_. Now she had to confront Erika and make her do something about it. She had to do something about what her husband had tried to do, though Nix didn’t know if she truly would. The fear that no action would be taken terrified Nix. She didn’t know what she would do if nothing would happen to Silas.

* * *

Their group sat around outside of Erika’s office. The guards outside of her office had dared to ask what they were doing. Magna had been the one to take charge and tell them that their group wouldn’t move until they talked with Erika. Her arm had been around Nix, and she hadn’t moved from her side throughout the entire thing. Her presence was warm and reassuring. Although Nix didn’t know Magna that well, her protective streak gave Nix comfort over what she had been through, had let her feel safe even as they sat outside Erika’s office.

Having people there to stand up for her and to back her up, it made Nix feel a little more confident in what they were doing, standing up to Erika and her husband. Someone had to start a revolution, to stand up against Erika and what she stood for; she was an unfit leader, and had risked so many lives, had taken them indirectly. Nix didn’t want to be another statistic. It brought an uncomfortable thought to mind: how many young girls had this man stalked before Nix? How many had he hurt and possibly killed? Was she just another one in a long list to this man?

The thoughts made her skin crawl, and she tried to point her thoughts elsewhere. Thinking about these things wouldn’t help her, and it would just terrify her if she knew the reality.

The door to Erika’s office opened, and the woman appeared there, a look of displeasure making its way over her face, and Nix knew nothing good would come from this meeting. Erika let them enter her office, and Nix thought her heart stopped when she saw Silas there. He had been there all along when they’d been sitting outside of her office?

He had a broken nose, an eye that was swelling shut, a few cuts on his face, and a long slash across his face from where Nix had managed to cut him. He was nursing his left arm like it had been broken. Nix knew his ribs had to hurt; Magna had gone to town on him, beating him black and blue. Nix didn’t feel remorse as she saw his bruised, pathetic state. He had tried to hurt her, and she had no sympathy to give him.

Erika glared at them each in equal measure. “You attacked my husband.”

Magna glared at Erika, grip on Nix tightening. “Your husband tried to fucking _rape_ Nix. You’ve been told he’s been stalking her! What kind of a fucking leader are you?”

Erika didn’t step down, returning the glare from Magna. Erika’s mouth moved too quick, but whatever she said elicited the wrong response from Magna, who went to strike her across the face, only to be stopped by Yumiko. The two shared a long look before Yumiko took control of the situation. Nix turned her attention away from them and onto Silas. He was staring at her, eyes unblinking as best they could with one swelling up. It creeped Nix out, made her skin crawl. It was disgusting.

Connie noticed. ‘I will kill you,’ Connie signed to the man before she put an arm around Nix, keeping her close like it would stop Silas from doing anything more to Nix. Silas looked away from Nix, eyes on his wife.

He spoke up, and whatever he said enraged the hearing in the room. Nix wanted to know what they were all saying. Erika waved them off, dismissing them before her face contorted and she yelled for quiet. Nothing was going right, and Erika was abusing her powers. She was manipulating the system she had built to her own benefit, to her husband’s benefit. It was horrific, and Nix wished that they’d never come across Jones Springs, that they were somewhere else, safe.

“If you cannot abide by the rules, then you must leave!” Erika yelled, leaving no room for argument.

‘Then why don’t you leave?’ Nix asked, and everyone looked at her. She repeated her question. ‘You manipulate the rules to your gain, and you allow yourself and Silas to bend and break the rules. Why don’t you leave if you can’t abide by the rules _you_ set?’ Nix crossed her arms over her chest as she looked at Erika.

Erika looked at them all. “I want you all to be packed and ready to leave Jones Springs within the next two days, or I shall have my guards make an example out of you hooligans.”

Everyone paused, coming to a standstill as they understood the impact of Erika’s words. She was sending them back out into the walker infested world after not being allowed out for months. She was sending them out there in the middle of winter. She was sending them to their deaths.

Nix saw Silas’ face, and wondered if Erika had considered her husband’s emotions, had considered what Nix was to him, his little obsession. Nix knew that this would bring on consequences that even Erika couldn’t have foreseen.

* * *

Nix was packing her bags. Kelly was doing the same opposite her on her own bed. The two hadn’t spoken since they had started putting their things away, deciding which objects would be a necessity in the apocalypse, and which items would have to be left behind. They could only carry so much.

‘You don’t have to come. You and Connie could stay here,’ Nix suggested after a while. The guilt had been eating her up, and she was at a loss as to what she could do.

Kelly shook her head. ‘Nix, we’re not leaving you and Luke ever again. We aren’t going to stay here any longer than we have to. Even Yumiko and Magna are going to come with us. We’re family,’ Nix smiled at the sign for family, and wiped at her face when she felt the warm tears drip down her face, betraying her. ‘We aren’t going to leave you to fend for yourself. All of us or none of us.’

‘Thank you, Kelly.’

Kelly smiled at her, then shrugged her shoulders before she returned to her bags, shoving her clothes and essentials into the bag.

Nix couldn’t help but still feel guilty. They had their place in Jones Springs, and there they were, packing everything up because of Nix, who had somehow managed to catch the attention of a manic stalker. She wondered what Silas was doing now: if he was angry with Erika for sending them away or glad that they were going. She wondered if Silas would run away from Jones Springs and follow them, continue to stalk Nix until he got what he wanted; whether that was Nix herself or Nix’s demise, she didn’t know. She didn’t understand stalkers, didn’t understand why Silas had fixated on _her_. Nix didn’t think there was anything all too special about her; she was a kid as normal as she could be in the apocalypse, and she just so happened to be deaf. Of course there was more to her than just that, but Silas didn’t know anything more than that.

Nix shoved some period pads into her bag. There would be five women there, and each of them got a period. They were going to have to find a lot of period necessities and learn to improvise when they ended up running out. Daryl had told her how women used to use a certain type of moss as a sort of pad, but she didn’t know if that was true or not.

She looked to Kelly, who was eyeing up the tampons in Nix’s hand with some type of discomfort in her eyes. ‘Did women use moss before sanitary napkins?’ Nix asked.

Kelly frowned a little. ‘I think so. I think you had to fold it in a cloth or something? I know women used to use bandages, but those will end up in short supply too.’

‘Maybe there could be something to reuse?’ she offered, raising her eyebrows at the older girl.

Kelly shrugged a shoulder, frown still on her face. ‘What? Like a reusable napkin?’

Nix shrugged, throwing the tampons into her bag. She didn’t like tampons; they were always uncomfortable, and she was always scared they’d get stuck. She preferred pads because it gave her a visual of when to reuse them; with tampons she always forgot how long they were meant to stay there. ‘Just rinse a reusable napkin in water and put it in with your laundry.’

Kelly grimaced. ‘Blood.’

‘Rinse it out with water,’ Nix repeated. Now that she thought about it, reusable pads would most likely have to be cleaned that way. ‘Shall we stop talking about this?’

‘Please.’

They finished packing their bags, then hefted them onto their shoulders. They were really leaving. Where were they going to go once they’d put Jones Springs in their rear-view mirror? Nix was terrified of what their future would hold, what they would have to do to survive out there. She had to stomach her horror and prepare herself for the inevitable – losing people.

Kelly led Nix out into the living room, where Luke and Connie were standing, already waiting for them. They had enough stuff to last them for a few weeks if they were lucky and smart about it. Nix would have to get back into hunting again; she knew she was rusty, and the animals nearby would be harder to find. It was mid-winter. She wondered how long they’d survive out there. She was just glad she wasn’t alone, wouldn’t be alone ever again.

She looked at the piano, remembering the fond memories that they had had with it; learning Chopsticks, watching Luke try and perform Flight of the Bumblebee, practising and playing together. They had gotten on along the most on that thing, bonding together over music. Nix was sad to leave it. It held fond memories that she knew would fade over time.

‘Are you two ready?’ Connie asked. The two girls nodded, and then Luke led them out of the apartment. Nix shut the door behind her, their keys on the coffee table left behind. Nix would miss the apartment if only for the fond memories it held. She looked back to the others and followed after them. They made their way to the gates of Jones Springs, where Yumiko and Magna were already waiting for them. They were standing beside two cars, their luggage already shoved into the trunks.

Nix waved to the two women, and they returned the gestures, small smiles on their faces. When they were close enough, Magna helped Nix with her two bags, putting them in one of the trunks of the car as two guards came up to them, bringing their weapons with them. Nix had almost forgotten what her bow had looked like, and she was glad to see it once more. She took it from the man, nodding to him as she grabbed her finger tab, arm guard and a full quiver of arrows. She’d have to make more arrows. She was glad she could remember how to make arrows after all this time hidden away in Jones Springs.

Yumiko held a compound bow, and Nix raised her eyebrows in surprise; she hadn’t expected Yumiko to be the one with a bow like that. Although Nix wasn’t into compound bows, she had to appreciate the strength of them; the archer could shoot an arrow with fifty pounds of weight behind it and only physically pull half of that weight while the bow managed the rest of it. Impressive. Nix still preferred her barebow. Her bow managed twenty-five pounds. As she got stronger, she’d have to try and find replacement limbs for it to add on a bigger poundage, get more strength behind the arrow.

The guards nodded to them as they handed over the rest of the weapons. They were doing alright weapon wise, mostly silent weapons, but they did have a few guns. Nix knew how scarce bullets would become the longer they endured the apocalypse. Maybe if they found a new settlement, they could find someone who knew how to make bullets. Nix thought that was more of a pipe dream than anything else though.

‘Are you ready to go back out there?’ Kelly asked Nix.

‘Yeah. I managed a year alone, so I should be OK. I may be a little rusty though,’

Kelly offered a smile. ‘You’re not alone this time. You’ve got all of us.’ She looked around Nix, and her face fell. She rushed forwards, grabbing Nix, and then the two were falling to the floor. Nix followed Kelly’s movements, hands going over her head to protect herself as she collided with the floor, partially hidden behind the car. She didn’t hear it but could feel bullets ricocheting off the cars.

There were several sharp bangs, and then they were surrounded by smoke. Nix pulled her t-shirt up over her nose, eyes burning as she looked over to Kelly, who had done the same.

‘Silas,’ she signed, and Nix wanted to scream out of anger. Instead, she jerked her head, and crawled under the car, hand gripping her bow tightly, quiver on her hips, the nocks of the arrows pressing into her skin. The two stayed hidden underneath the car, and Nix tried to look around for the others, but the white smoke was too thick.

It was a different situation entirely, but it reminded Nix of the walkers on the highway when she had hidden away with Sophia, before they’d had to run from the threat. Only this time, the threat was a human and not some walkers that they could wait out. They could only wait so long before things would turn for the worse; before Silas found them.

Kelly tapped her shoulder. ‘Silas is talking. He wants you, claims he’ll let us live if you give yourself up.’

‘That’s a load of shit.’ Nix looked away, squinting through the smoke, then looked back at Kelly. ‘The gunfire will send walkers our way.’

‘He keeps shooting his guns. We don’t have long before he finds us.’

Nix clenched her jaw, not sure what she could do. She could try and give herself up to Silas, let him have her in the hopes that her friends would get out of this whole thing unscathed. But how likely was it that Silas would let them live? He had already shot at them, may have killed the others. And how likely was it that her friends would willingly let Silas have Nix?

But if it meant that Kelly was the only one left alive, and it meant that she would get out of this unhurt, then what other choice did Nix have?

A hand grabbed her, and a scream tore itself out of her throat. Silas was there, a murderous, crazed look on his face. Nix reacted without thinking. She grabbed an arrow from her quiver and embedded it in Silas’ eye. His mouth opened as he roared in pain, and then he was pulling Nix out from underneath the car. She looked back at Kelly, horror in her features as Silas screamed and yelled.

Nix stumbled to her feet, being dragged along by Silas. He came to a stop and pulled her forwards, keeping her in front of him as he pulled the arrow out from his eye, throwing it aside before he put a knife to Nix’s throat, the edge of the blade sharp enough that it already stung. Nix didn’t know what to do. She was terrified.


	6. Downfall

Nix couldn’t see where the others were. She only knew where Kelly was, still hidden underneath a car. She had to hope that the others were OK, would be alright even though their situation seemed pretty dire.

Behind her, Silas was yelling. She could feel the vibrations from his chest, where he had forced her head to rest against, the sharp-edged knife digging into her throat. She didn’t dare swallow, barely breathed as she waited for him to slice at her throat, to bleed out in the streets of Jones Springs. She didn’t want to die there, not in _Jones fucking Springs_. Why had they thought giving this damn place a chance had been worth it?

They’d met Connie, they’d met Kelly. They’d even met Yumiko and Magna. They made the chance worth it.

Nix had to move with Silas. She could feel him yelling out words, crazed commands, and she could do anything but try and spot her friends. There was no way that Nix could overpower Silas. She hadn’t even managed to get her knives back properly, to put them on her person again. Instead they were strewn in front of one of the cars that she could barely see. Maybe someone would grab them and put them to use.

The man holding her continued to shout, and he pointed his gun up in the air, letting several shots off. Nix couldn’t hear it, but the proximity had her wincing, shutting her eyes as the shells bounced off her neck and clothes, singeing the hairs on her neck, the fabric. She opened her eyes when Silas shifted, and he dropped the gun. Nix wondered if he’d emptied it as he’d forced the bullets up into the sky. He was going to damn them.

Silas dragged her along, and she stumbled, the blade against her neck cutting a few layers of skin. She winced at the pain but tried to keep pace with Silas as he dragged them towards the gates. Was he planning on making them both _leave_? Even from the distance, Nix could sense the walkers. They had to have been brought over from the sound of the gunfire, from Silas’ mad shouts. Now the dead had been riled up, and they wanted to feast.

Silas took hold of Nix’s head and forced her to look at Erika. She had appeared through the smoke that was started to fade, flanked by several of her guards. She had a pleasant sort of smile on her face that Nix wanted nothing more than to punch off. There was a certain smugness to it that Erika couldn’t hide. Was she pleased that Nix was in such danger? Was Erika truly as crazy as her husband?

Jones Springs was fucked. There was no redeeming the place.

“What my husband wants, my husband gets,” Erika said, and Nix felt the terror force her still in her spot. She couldn’t move. “If he wants you as a play toy, then that is what he shall get. Do what you want with her, Silas, honey.”

Nix braced herself for the knife to slash her throat, to feel it go down to the bone. She shut her eyes, waiting for her death. So this was how she was going to die?

She thought of her father, wondering if he was out there still. He’d never know how it ended for her, and Nix didn’t know if that was worse or not. She couldn’t remember what they’d last signed to each other, and she realised she was starting to forget his face; she didn’t have any photos of him, didn’t have any of her uncle Merle either. Was Merle still alive too? Would the two go on living, not knowing what happened to Nix?

Nix opened her eyes. She wanted Erika to see her die, to know she had condemned a child to die because she didn’t know how to control her husband, how to run a community.

Blood spurted out of Silas’ shoulder on Nix’s right, and he fell forwards, falling on top of her. Nix landed on the floor with a rough thump, and then she was moving. She shoved Silas off her and saw pulled herself away from him. He was crying out of his one good eye, and Nix could see the entry hole for a bullet. She looked to Erika, who was staring at them in shock. Nix swallowed hard, too scared to move. The one wrong move, and Erika would have her men open fire on Nix.

Then bullets were fired over Nix, and she ducked, keeping her body pressed to the floor. Her quiver was half full, the arrows scattered from her fall. She tried to collect them all and grabbed Silas’ sharp knife. She looked at him, and saw the way he was gasping, body shaking. He was bleeding out, had endured a lot, maybe too much for his body to cope.

Nix looked down at the knife in her hand, and then she acted without really thinking.

It was harder to stab a human in the head than it was to stab a walker. The flesh warm, still alive, the bone not yet rotted soft enough. Nix barely got the knife halfway in, and she had to force it down into his skull. She pulled the knife out with all her might, and the blood dripped from the knife differently than it did with walker blood. Nix didn’t really mind that she had killed someone. Silas had been a bad person, and if she hadn’t killed him, then maybe another girl would be stalked by him, another person would be at risk.

Nix had taken a life. Her hands were stained with Silas’ blood. Nix tried not to think about what her father would think about it, what Merle would have to say about it.

_Dad wouldn’t be happy. Uncle Merle would be proud._

The thoughts of how they’d react burst in her mind, but Nix couldn’t concentrate on them. Erika had seen Nix take Silas’ life.

Erika’s mouth was open in a scream, maybe something raw and guttural. Nix couldn’t hear it, and she didn’t care. Erika charged at her, brandishing a knife. She slashed at Nix, who ducked, rolling across the ground. Erika crawled after her, having fallen in her need to attack Nix.

Nix kicked Erika in the face when she was within reach, and then she turned and ran, stumbling as she did so, trying to keep herself below the spray of bullets.

Magna was there, and she was holding up her gun as she shot at the guards, taking them down one by one. She was an expert shot, and Nix barely had the time to be impressed before Magna was pulling her behind her, gun pointed upwards at Erika –

Erika collapsed in front of them, bleeding through the hole in her head, the bullet lodged in her brain. The blood had spattered everywhere, covering Nix and Magna.

“We need to go.” Magna said clearly, and Nix nodded.

They collected Nix’s arrows as they hugged the ground, careful to make sure they didn’t get shot by the guards. The smoke from the bomb and the smell of the gunfire made it hard to focus. There were arrows strewn across the road, and Nix grabbed them, stuffing them back into her quiver as she and Magna returned to the cars. Nix took hold of her bow and felt comfort once more before she was given a gun by Magna.

“Protect us,”

She’d already killed Silas. What was another life?

Nix kept herself hidden behind the car as Magna went around everyone, getting them in the cars. Nix shot at the guards, ducking for cover, before she would shoot at them again. She managed to take out a few more of the guards – three – before Yumiko was there and she shoved her into the car they were using as cover. Nix looked back through the smoke outside of the car and saw that the gates had been opened and walkers upon walkers were piling into Jones Springs. The dead were quick to tear into the dying guards who had been there, into Silas and Erika’s corpses, blood and flesh still fresh enough for their tastes.

Yumiko climbed over her and sat in the driver’s seat. In the back were Luke and Kelly, and Luke was bleeding from his stomach.

Nix’s heartbeat came to a stop, and then the car was rushing through the roads of Jones Springs.

‘What happened?’

‘Shot,’ Kelly told her distractedly, keeping a hand over the wound, some cloth pressed to it.

Nix looked back to Yumiko; whose hands were tight on the steering wheel. She didn’t talk to her, and looked out of the window, tense in her seat as Yumiko sped up. They were getting awfully close to the wooden walls that had been put up in place for some new ones that had yet to replace them.

“DUCK!” Yumiko yelled, and Nix did as she was told.

They burst through the wooden walls, and Nix yelped, feeling shards of glass and splinters fall on her. She was careful as she brushed them off, and then she shifted in her seat, looking back at Kelly and Luke, who wasn’t looking too good.

Nix didn’t know what to do. She couldn’t lose Luke.

* * *

Kelly and Nix were keeping watch. Nix felt on edge as she sat on top of the car, squinting through the darkness to see any threats. So far, they hadn’t had anyone from Jones Springs catch up to them, to fight them and kill them. So far … they were free.

‘Is Connie OK?’ Nix asked. She felt restless and she didn’t know what she could do about it. It was driving her insane, not being there for Luke.

‘Connie’s alright. She just needs to rest.’

Magna had brought Connie to their rendezvous. Connie had a headwound, and she’d been unconscious when Magna had brought her in their car. Nix and Kelly were both worried about Connie and Luke. But Nix knew that they were both strong and would be able to get out of this. It was just stressful knowing that the two people they cared about were hurt and they were powerless to help them.

‘Luke will be OK too. The bullet wasn’t that deep.’

‘I know. I just don’t want to lose him because he was … my first friend after losing my dad and my group.’ Nix shrugged, then looked away from Kelly.

The two waited outside, keeping watch, circling the rendezvous point to make sure they hadn’t been followed. The hours dragged on, and Nix hated it. But she kept watch, did her best to try and keep the others safe.

Nix knew that she was lucky in a sense; she was only fifteen and had only killed four people. She knew that there had to be people out there who didn’t have that kind of luck, who’d had to have killed more people at younger ages. She didn’t know if her father were still alive or not, but she could hold out faith that he was still out there while she knew other people couldn’t have that kind of hope. It still hurt knowing that she would never get her answers, but she had already resigned herself to that.

Yumiko came out of the house they were using as a hide out. She started talking, and Kelly was quick to translate her words for Nix. ‘She says Connie is OK, though she may have a concussion. Luke is alright too, but he’s … still under the weather. He’s asleep for now and they did all they could. With some medication and some rest, Luke should make a full recovery.’

To hear that Luke would be OK, it relieved Nix to no end. It meant that they had all managed to escape Jones Springs.

‘She says you can go see him.’

Nix nodded and looked to Yumiko, thanking her before she moved past her, going into the small house. There were two bedrooms, a bathroom and a living room that doubled as the kitchen in the house. It was a comfy house, but Nix didn’t care. She looked in the first bedroom, and saw Connie on the bed, writing in a notepad to Magna. Nix left the two of them before they noticed her, and she went into the second bedroom.

Luke was asleep. He was laid in the bed with the blankets up to his chest. Nix presumed he had bandages on and around his wound. Magna had been the one to stitch him up, the one with more experience than the others.

He looked at peace. Nix sat in the chair beside his bed, then reached out to check his pulse in his wrist. It was steady and strong, and it gave Nix hope that Luke really would be OK when he woke up.

 _I’m glad you’re OK,_ she thought, not bothering to sign out the words. She’d be able to tell him when he woke up.

Until then, she kept herself planted right by his side.

* * *

Nix looked down the arrow, breathing slow and steady, ignoring how her breath was visible in the cold air. The poor doe had no idea she was there. She aimed the arrow at the deer’s neck. She clenched her jaw before she let the arrow loose, shooting through the air towards its target. The doe barely had time to react before it collapsed onto the ground.

Nix stood up and walked over to it, checking her immediate surroundings as she went. There were no walkers around her. She crouched down in the snow, feeling a little guilt for the animal as the blood pooled around it.

‘I’m sorry,’ she signed to the doe, not that it could understand her. She slit its throat to quicken the death, then pulled out her arrow. It snapped, part of it stuck in the doe’s neck. _Fuck,_ she thought, pulling out the piece that had gotten stuck. She put it away, to throw away later. Nix looked back to the deer and picked it up, heaving it onto her shoulders. Its head lolled against her arm before it stilled, and she set off walking back to the house they were holed up in.

After Luke and Connie had recovered, their group had set off on a mindless journey, trying to find somewhere that would take them in. They had to stop, in the thick of winter, to hide away in a house until the worst of it had passed.

Nix went out hunting, as did Yumiko, but Nix was the one who was able to bring home the bigger animals, the ones that would give them all full stomachs for a few days. Nix had had to teach them all how to hunt, how to skin an animal and remove their guts. It had been a gross process, and Kelly had expressed just how much she found the whole thing gross. It was a learning curve for them all, and it got them asking more about her past, pre-apocalypse.

It was nice talking about her father in the times before the apocalypse, but it reminded her that it had been three years since she had last seen him. She wondered what he would be doing if he were still alive. He had to be. Telling the others about him felt good, and it helped Nix remember him. She had always kept him close to her heart, and that had only resulted in the memories fading, distorting into something she didn’t recognise.

The others found out that she had essentially been a hillbilly from bumfuck nowhere just outside of Atlanta, Georgia. The others had revealed their pasts; Luke a music teacher, Connie a journalist, Kelly a high school student, and Magna had been a truck stop waitress whilst Yumiko had been a lawyer.

‘How did you two meet?’ Nix asked, looking between Magna and Yumiko.

The woman shared an awkward look before Yumiko told them that Magna had gotten into a little tiff with the law, and Yumiko had been her lawyer before the world had gone to shit. They had managed to stick together for three years, unable to find a good enough place to lay their heads. But they’d found Jones Springs, had saved Nix, and had accidentally thrown their lot in with them.

“A good accident though.” Magna said, shooting a smile to Nix, who returned it.

It was nice being around them, having a bigger group than just her and Luke. They could take better turns on watch at night, could hunt and learn how to work together. As the weather got better, turning into spring, they learned to avoid towns and cities, though tried their hand at small villages and streets.

They learned how to benefit each other when it came to searching through homes, trying to find some food and water, weapons, and caches that they could use to their benefit. It was a scary thing, searching through the unknown areas of the world, but they did their best.

Nix had a few close calls, not noticing a walker when she should’ve. Though she was always with someone who had her back, who killed the walker that went for her before it had a chance to kill her. She was grateful that she had the others with her, keeping her safe as she did with them. They always knew the risk, and with two of their group deaf, it meant having to have their eyes everywhere. Nix still tried her best to keep herself out of danger so that the others didn’t have to put themselves in danger for her.

Nix had been the one to find Bernie. She had been scouting through a house, and then Bernie had appeared gun held up in front of him as Nix pointed an arrow at his throat.

The others had come rushing in, hearing Bernie yelling even though Nix couldn’t hear it.

They had been quick to befriend Bernie, slow to trust him. He had been on his own for a while, not as long as Nix had after she had lost her father, but long enough that it was concerning. But Bernie had been nice, had steadily gotten along with everyone in their group.

He, Yumiko, and Magna had done their best to learn sign language. They had gotten along with it rather well, though they did occasionally slip up and forget certain signs for something, resorting to finger spelling until it was understood by Connie and Nix. It still warmed at Nix’s heart that they were doing their best to learn sign language just so that they could talk to her and Connie. It reminded Nix of Sophia and Carl, how they had tried their best to learn in their short time together.

Nix wondered where Sophia and Carl were, if they were still alive or not. It terrified Nix not knowing how her friends may have met their ends.

After Bernie, they found Adelaide. Then came Brandon and Keaton, then Joe and Jax the twins from South Dakota. Missy joined them next, alongside sisters Maisy and Jane. Their group got bigger and bigger, and they had several cars with them to compensate for the sheer amount of people in their group. It surprised Nix how many people they had collected, that they had all decided to stick with them and fight the end of the world with them by their sides. The newcomers were all older than Nix, and only Kelly was around a similar age to Nix. It made Nix feel odd, being the youngest person there, having everyone look out for her like she was an infant.

‘Why did you kill Erika?’ Nix asked. She and Magna were keeping watch on one side of their temporary base. Maisy and Keaton were on the other side, keeping watch too.

‘Why did you kill Silas?’

Nix frowned at her, rebuking the question. ‘I didn’t want anyone else to feel the way I did.’ Nix answered honestly. ‘Silas terrified me, terrorised me for weeks and weeks. Erika did nothing about it. If they got away and lived, then some other girl would end up being stalked by him, and I don’t want someone to live like that. Why did you kill Erika?’

Magna shrugged, looking far too calm and collected for this conversation. ‘She was a crazy bitch,’ Magna signed, the movements slow and with purpose. ‘She was going to try and kill you, and I wasn’t going to let another girl get hurt when I could do something to stop it.’

Nix nodded and didn’t push Magna. When they knew each other better, then maybe Magna would tell her about this other girl who got hurt. Until then, they could stay in companionable silence.

* * *

Bernie smiled down at Nix. The summer sun was bright and burned their skin. Bernie handed Nix some sunglasses, and she put them on, signing ‘thank you,’ to him. He bumped their shoulders together.

‘You’re getting tall,’ he signed. Bernie was alright at sign, as were the newcomers, though they were slow to learn the language.

Behind them were the others, following their lead. Their cars had crapped out on them, so all fifteen of them were on foot. Adelaide and Keaton were locked in a heated conversation over whether the books or the movies where better when it came to The Lord of the Rings, and Nix knew that was their way of flirting. Maisy and Jane were talking together, presumably about their parents or something along those lines. The twins were keeping watch on either side of the group, as were Brandon and Magna.

‘I’m not that tall,’ Nix signed. ‘Besides, you might be shrinking.’ She gestured to him and his god-awful shirt that he was wearing. It was multicoloured and horrendous. It gave Nix a headache and Magna absolutely hated it.

Nix turned her attention back onto the road, glad for the sunglasses. Luke had given her a hat, so that her head didn’t burn from the harsh sun, but her shoulders and arms were slowly becoming red and ached.

‘Are getting closer to the ocean?’ Nix asked. ‘I can smell the salt water.’

Bernie frowned at her, before he started sniffing at the air. ‘Yeah, I can smell it too.’ He turned to look at the others. “How do you guys feel about going to the oceanside?”

They frowned at him before shrugging. Their group made it to the oceanside. It was nice to be there, to see the sand and the water. They were on the edge of the country. They could go out there, swim or use a boat and live off the water. Find a little land for themselves. Nix didn’t want to leave, to find that little island. She wanted to find her father. She couldn’t help but hold out hope that he was still alive, somewhere in the country. She looked back to the others, who all looked pleased to see something other than the trees and the roads.

They all went down to the beach, careful of walkers hidden in the sand and the sea water. Nix watched as the others joined Maisy and Jane down at the water’s edge, barefoot as they felt the water move over their feet. Nix’s feet were sore from her boots, but she was too scared to take them off, knowing that at some point she would have to start running from the newest threat.

She and Yumiko paced around the beach, eyes open for threats in the forms of walkers or the living. Nix couldn’t relax, couldn’t let herself enjoy the oceanside like the others were doing. It was hard to look at the others laughing and joking together.

‘Why don’t you go and join them?’

Nix shook her head at Yumiko’s question. ‘We always have to run. I want to be ready for it.’

Yumiko eyed Nix up for a second before she pulled them to a stop. ‘I know we always have to run. We always will at some point or another. But you should allow yourself to enjoy the small things in life, especially this life.’ Nix nodded, looking away for a second, and then Yumiko was turning Nix’s head so she could look her in the eyes. ‘Don’t let this world take over you. You’ve already endured so much, don’t let this world drag you down.’

‘It won’t drag me down.’

Yumiko smiled at her, a soft look to her eyes as she looked at Nix. Nix returned the look, unsure of what else she could do. She wouldn’t let this world drag her down.

* * *

They’d spent almost a year on the road. They’d felt the weather start to turn cold, and Nix turned sixteen. Four years without her father, four years since she had last seen Daryl and Merle. She missed them a lot and didn’t know how to handle that loss. It had been several long years, and yet Nix didn’t know what to do without them there.

Adelaide caught Nix’s attention with a wave of her hand. ‘Deer,’ she signed to her. Nix looked in the direction Adelaide pointed, and Nix stalked off, following the deer, staying downwind, making sure it didn’t sense her in any way.

The hunt reminded Nix of Daryl and Merle in a good way; what they had taught her before the end of the world. It kept them close to her in a way that she couldn’t truly have anymore. The deer didn’t know Nix was there until the arrow lodged itself into the deer’s neck. It tried to fight the pain before it collapsed. Nix gave it a quick mercy kill, cutting its throat before she heaved the deer over her shoulders.

Adelaide looked impressed at how quickly Nix had taken the deer down. She led the way back to the group, keeping pace with her so that she didn’t get lost. Nix didn’t mind Adelaide; she was a nice woman, kind and rough when she had to be. Nix wouldn’t cross her if she had to. She got along well with Keaton, and Nix suspected that there was something going off between the two of them, not that Nix would mention it to either of them.

Yumiko and Magna were girlfriends. Nix hadn’t been bothered when Yumiko had told her, had instead hoped that the two of them would be happy together. The people in their group were slowly finding love in one another, apart from a select few.

The two women returned to the camp, and Nix got to work skinning the deer, removing the guts. It was now a tedious thing, a part of what made her part of the group, what her role was in their group. There were some others who tried their hand at hunting, but none of them quite managed to get the job done like Nix did.

‘We need to find somewhere safe for ourselves this winter.’ Connie signed to Nix over the deer. Nix nodded her agreement. ‘Where do you think we should go?’

Nix shrugged. ‘North. We can’t go any further east, can’t go south because we’d be going back the way we came. We can’t go too far west because the country is full of the dead.’

‘Reasonable thought,’ Connie signed to her. ‘Maybe you should lead us instead.’

‘You know we all work as a team. Teamwork makes the dream work.’

Connie laughed a little, nodding her head at her. ‘It’s impressive you manage to get the deer. Your father taught you, didn’t he?’

‘Yeah. He was nice. I think you’d like him when he wasn’t so … riled up. My uncle Merle used to be … a bit of a bad guy. Sometimes the two of them were better apart than together.’

‘People can be like that. Don’t worry about it.’ Connie patted her shoulder. ‘Are you going to cook the meat once you’re done?’

‘Of course; I’m hungry.’

The two shared a smile before Connie left her to her work. Nix watched her go, wondering how well Connie and Daryl would’ve gotten along if they had ever met. Maybe things would’ve been different. Nix pushed the thought out of her mind; there was no point thinking about things that couldn’t happen.

* * *

**_COALPORT_ **

Nix looked to the others. ‘Do we risk it?’ she signed to Luke, looking to him for advice. The last time they had found themselves looking at a sign for a community, it had ended up becoming overrun, and with Nix killing living people for the first time.

They had just finished dealing with a herd of walkers that had been on their tail for the last hour and a half. They were low on supplies, bullets non-existent within their group. They were low on food, and that meant danger for them. It was getting close to winter once more, and their group wasn’t prepared to deal with winter. If they kept on like they were, they’d start to drop like flies. They needed to find somewhere safe, and the sign for Coalport had appeared. Everyone had paused, looking at the sign.

Would they prefer to risk the life they were leading, risk losing people, or would they risk the community they didn’t know, and risk all of their lives in one go? Nix felt uncomfortable, not sure which one she preferred.

‘We can always walk away if we don’t like it,’ Yumiko signed to her, speaking as she went for the others. ‘We have our choices.’

Nix looked to the others, and saw the looks in their eyes, full of excitement for the possibilities Coalport could bring them. Maybe it had promise. Nix didn’t know, and none of them would know until they went there. Nix bit her lip a little, eyeing up the sign for Coalport. She was tentative; she didn’t want to have a repeat of Jones Springs.

She could feel the way Magna was looking at her, looking for any signs of outward discomfort. Magna seemed to be in Nix’s corner, backing her up and her decisions, whenever someone went against her for it. Nix appreciated Magna’s presence that way and knew that she had to see her cousin in her. Magna had told her about her cousin, what had happened to her, and what Magna did to the man who had ruined her cousin’s life.

‘We try it. Like Yumiko said, we can walk away if we don’t like it.’

Luke smiled at Nix, and agreed with her, telling the others just as much. Magna nodded to Nix, and she returned the gesture. The two of them would be the ones most alert, wary of the people in Coalport. They would be the ones to determine whether or not Coalport would be safe enough for them. They would figure it out, would keep their group safe. They weren’t going to let another Jones Springs happen.

Yumiko led the way, following the signs for Coalport. The others followed her lead. Nix didn’t move from her spot, and neither did Magna. She looked to the older woman, seeing the distrust lining Magna’s face.

‘Don’t let this place fool you,’ Magna signed to Nix, looking at her with a tense expression. ‘Jones Springs fooled us; we can’t let them fool us again.’

‘I know. Let’s go.’


End file.
